Today is my grandma’s 104th birthday! Can you believe it?

http://oi64.tinypic.com/676sk3.jpg Admittedly, I don’t spend enough time with her. Life gets so busy. It’s not hard getting caught up in the “routine” and forgetting about the people who matter most to you. So, in addition to celebrating Grandma Helen’s birthday, I interviewed her. (By the way, she refused to eat the cannoli pictured above because she had strudel for breakfast.) http://oi67.tinypic.com/104euwx.jpg *Grandma Helen's 100th birthday party, exactly four years ago* The goal of the interview was simple. Firstly, I sought to memorialize Grandma Helen's stories and wisdom. Secondly, I reasoned that the cure to loneliness is having the support of tons of friends. That’s why I’m writing this article about Grandma Helen. ***What better way to make her feel loved than for her to receive hundreds of birthday wishes from people like you all across the globe?*** I’m going to show Grandma Helen all the kind words and well wishes from you, the Steem community, when I revisit her soon. Please let us know where in the world you’re from, too! Until then, here are three short, entertaining stories from our lunchtime conversation: ---

#1: Flirting Her Way Out Of A Ticket

Grandma Helen’s son was spending the week with her last summer. He knows that she’s unable to get out much, so he elected to take her on a relaxing, Sunday drive in the city. Given that Grandma Helen’s son lives out of state, he wasn’t very familiar with navigating the city. As a result, he unknowingly ran a red light. He was preoccupied with taking in all the sights and sounds of the new environment. The next sound that Grandma Helen’s son heard? *Sirens!* He glanced in the rearview mirror, which revealed the notorious red and blue flashing lights of a police car. http://garak.wimp.com/images/sthumbs/2015/08/1d8a3f1959b083474e6082a45a07fa0e_3.jpg *(Photo courtesy of wimp.com)* Helen’s son pulled over, and an officer approached the vehicle from behind, motioning for him to roll down the window. ***“Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?” “No, officer,”*** he answered honestly. After explaining the traffic violation, the cop proceeded to write a ticket. Meanwhile, Grandma Helen’s son mentioned that his mother recently turned 103 in a last-ditch effort to appeal to the officer’s humanity. Grandma Helen read her son’s antics and confessed to the young, handsome officer: ***“You’re kinda cute!”*** It worked! The officer’s cheeks turned bright red. He flipped closed his small notebook, lifted his dark sunglasses back over his eyes, and returned to his car while wishing “a nice day” to both of them. Reflecting back on that day, Grandma Helen is still amazed at the spontaneity and fearlessness she exhibited towards the officer. ***“I can’t believe I said that!”*** she laughs, covering her eyes in playful embarrassment. ---

#2: Little Helen: The Scavenging Roller-Skater

The year was 1920. At the tender age of eight, Helen wanted roller skates. It was a craze; something all the “cool kids” were doing. Unfortunately, Helen was denied from enjoying this seemingly innocent pastime. ***“You’re liable to fall!”*** her mother protested. Maybe these concerns were warranted, as the bicycle helmet wouldn’t be invented for another 50+ years! Helen was determined nevertheless. http://i.makeagif.com/media/5-22-2015/_KqDIR.gif She eventually stumbled upon some parts from a damaged pair of roller skates that were lying on the street corner. Channeling her inner handywoman, Helen “repaired” the skates with… Wait for it… A piece of string! Helen’s roller skating adventures were short-lived. Granted, she was skating with only *one* roller skate because there weren’t sufficient materials from the salvaged pair to produce skates for both feet. *I’m sure that Helen’s mother was just thrilled with her safety precautions!* Grandma Helen ended this childhood story with the wise and thought-provoking words, ***“If you didn’t have the toy, you tried to make it.”*** ---

#3: The Dog Who Ruined Dinner

Growing up, Helen was the cook of the house. Her mother would de-feather the chickens for dinner, and Helen would wash them off and cook them in the stove. *(The family raised chickens in their backyard because the first commercial supermarket wouldn’t exist for another decade.)* But tonight, ham was on the dinner menu! Helen bought the whole leg of pork from a neighbor and began preparing it for dinner. Once the ham was finally cooked, she opened the kitchen window and placed it on the sill to cool. But the next thing Helen knew, the ham was gone–cooking tray and all. http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/256251/eating-dog-o.gif Apparently, a stray *(and very hungry)* dog was hiding beneath the porch attached to the kitchen. Helen discovered this fact upon hearing some noise at the end of the street. Helen was shocked at what she saw! The abandoned pup was, in Grandma Helen’s words, “ripping apart” the cooked ham in a pit of gravel. ***“Mom could’ve killed the dog!”*** she recalls. I then asked Grandma Helen what the family ate for dinner instead. She casually responded: ***“Oh, we got another ham.”***