Respects are of different types; it depends on the person and their behavior on how they must be respected or not. In my life, I have encountered numerous types of people and respected them based on how they deserve to be respected. Rarely have I disrespected anyone, even if I did, that too for their behavior they deserve.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
— Carl Jung
Recently, I've been going through such a stressful situation. I am bound to respect a folk of people, but their activities and behaviors aren't worth my respect, but I am still respecting them because that's my upbringing, my education, that's me. But not long enough, things are getting out of hand, day by day, it's very surprising that they aren't able to realise this. Maybe I'm at fault because my over-respecting behaviors are making them blind to see, and I need to portray some differences so they realise what's going wrong, actually.
To be very honest with you, I am such a boy who gets used to people very easily if they are kind and good to me. Like, I would never be rude or aggressive towards others, nor do I ever misbehave with anyone all of a sudden for nothing. Even if the person in front of me is against me, I will choose to walk out rather than being in a conflict. I just want to avoid conflicts, not interested in such unnecessary drama.
But, if one is needed, inevitable to avoid, then why not? Like the folk of people I'm talking to. I have immense respect and a soft corner for them, but they aren't doing what they must need to do; instead, they are fueling something terrible against me unknowingly. They are taking my behavior for granted, like the outer surface; they are assuming everything is fine, and they are protesting by mouth to show off. Like, we can know what people are doing from the heart and what they are doing by the mouth only. Inside, I'm just being furious and making a note of all these, I just pray and hope that I learn to forgive, otherwise the coming days are gonna be worse. I'm gonna make them pay for what they're doing, for the tears of my close people, for the misbehavior they caused, all gonna be paid, make them taste what they have cooked so far. I just pray and hope Almighty heals my soul; otherwise, it's gonna be very, very messy.
You know what, if I had the means, I would have torn them apart; that's how furious I'm right now. I wish I could vent out my anger, vent out the wrath, give a proper reply for all the disrespect and suffering I went through. I wish I could. I know I will forget, and might forgive as well. But, I don't want to, I want to take revenge, make justice. If left without a lesson, then these won't stop, and they will keep levelling up. So I must make it fair.
So yeah, that's it for now, that's what I wanted to speak out about, to ease myself now a little bit. The thing is that these situations are what bugs me the most every day or tomorrow, with a terribly broken mental health, I start the day and end it. Throughout the whole day, I go through hell.
