It has been a weirdly "slow" day. The day itself was pretty normal, with a couple client sessions and other repetitive daily tasks, but it is more like my brain has slowed everything down to a crawl. Or my brain has slowed to a crawl and is unable to track events correctly. And no, I didn't ingest something.
I did have some interesting conversations with my clients though, which is always nice. One of them was talking about how the young, less-experienced managers have failed in their planning and now a project is going to be late. That happens. However, what he had been questioning is how they aren't phased by it, as if they don't care that they have failed to do the task, nor the trouble and cost it causes. He wonders if they just don't take any pride in their work.
This set us off on a conversation that I have had here over the years about how the last decade or two has created an environment where people are missing key skills in core areas, but have an overconfidence in other areas. It is kind of strange to be confident despite repeated failure, isn't it? It is almost like the behaviour of a narcissist.
Are we becoming more narcissistic as a species?
It would make sense, since social frameworks are falling down, people are more individualistic, we spend more time sharing heavily filtered views of ourself, all to get attention and external validation from an audience of strangers. It does sound like it might create the conditions required to increases narcissism in society, doesn't it?
Narcissism is a bit interesting though, as we generally tend to think about it in terms of the person who always wants to be the centre of attention, but there are different types of narcissist. The other side of narcissism is the person who is insecure or hypersensitive. And if you look at the same environment we have created where people are "shamelessly" self-promoting and seem so confident on the surface, it isn't hard to see that a lot of them are very, very insecure, and perhaps even self-loathing, if you consider what they do to their bodies through filters and surgery.
And well.... hypersensitivity.
That is a term I just came up with.
But I think that most would agree that the internet evokes a lot of volatile emotions based on content that isn't even directed at the viewer personally. It is like people read something that they disagree with as if it was written for them directly, by their worst enemy. People can't separate general content and personal, because it is all personal.
Don't take it personally...
But that (insert group label) you belong to is pathetic.
Now, based on one random, indirect slight, the whole group can be up in arms as if they are under attack and their lives are at stake. The entire group is being victimised, belittled, and oppressed by (insert enemy group label) and there must be punishment.
Narcissistic much?
You probably think this song is about you.
But, maybe this is natural, because people are not maturing as fast as they did in the past through life experience. Instead, adults are trying to hold onto their "childhood" as long as possible, with childhood meaning they get what they want, when they want it, without having to do anything for it. And for those who have been around young children, you will understand that from the child's perspective,
It is all about them.
When kids learn to write their name, they write their name everywhere, and on everything. When they are hungry, no matter if they are literally watching the parent make food or the food has already been ordered from the restaurant, they will repeat that they are hungry, and get impatient. They feel it now, they want it now. Their whole world revolves around them.
And it can be argued that this is the case for all of us, but there is a difference when there are Responsibilities outside of us. As we actually mature through experience, we realise that we might be the centre of our world, but our existence relies on interacting in the worlds of others and building relationships, collaborating and making concessions.
Never settle for less than you think you are worth!
But everyone thinks they are priceless. That because of some label they have given themselves, they are so unique that they are valuable beyond measure to the world. Despite not adding any actual value to the world at all. So valuable, the rules that apply to everyone else, don't apply to me.
Unfortunately though, reality just doesn't align. Their experience in real life doesn't match with their expectations about the world and people don't treat them exactly the way they demand to be treated. So their perfect fantasy opinion of themselves are victimised by the reality that they don't measure up to. And well, this makes for a pretty big issue, because it sets up a victimisation loop, where people believe they are right, in a world that proves they aren't. But it is up to the world to change and align to them, which just isn't going to happen.
But when they catch a glimpse of themselves...
The insecurity creeps in.
Just need to apply another filter to widen the gap to reality.
Taraz
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