The Law of Opposites

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We have all heard that when we look at life through rose-colored glasses, life takes on a whole new dimension. But is there any scientific basis for being more positive, for having a more positive attitude towards life and adversity?

Why is it that the more we try to be happy, the more unhappy we feel? Why is it that trying to be better than we are, or than we think we are, makes us more miserable and gives us a feeling of loss about ourselves? Why does this happen when we are trying to be or have more than we think we have?

A British philosopher and writer postulated about this very thing. His name is Alan Watts, and he sums up this phenomenon as the “Law of Opposites.”

In this law, Watts argues that when we try to seek or pursue a positive experience, it actually reinforces our lack of that experience. In other words, it will generate a vicious cycle of “insufficiency” and misery.

If we think we are not rich enough, or that we do not have enough money to live our lives comfortably, what will happen is that we will look at ourselves and our bank account as poor and deplorable. We will not be able to be happy at that moment, and we end up living our lives chasing a dream and feeling miserable as we are. Not because we are actually miserable, but only because we consider that the goal we have not yet achieved is something that is essential for us to be happy. And in this way, we end up living a sad life, thinking only about goals... and dreams.

If we long to be more attractive and highly desirable, our entire subconscious will become hyper-reactive and aware of all the mistakes we will make with the opposite sex, and even if we have spiritual enlightenment, we will not see it because of our egocentric and superficial focus, which ends up blurring our peace and progress.

The Inverse Law explains why we are increasingly unable to “live” happily with what we have at the moment, because human nature always desires something more and always wants to have more and more, leading us to this empty place of searching for something that we may not even feel great joy when we achieve it. For happiness is not something that can be achieved and remain.

There is an obvious paradox: the more we seek a positive experience, the more negative it becomes.

Interesting, isn't it?

But what can we gain from this “Law of Opposites”? This road has two directions, and as such, we can use it to our advantage.

If one day we are having a less positive, or even negative, experience, and if we accept that experience as it is, without categorizing it, or without placing ourselves before it in a way that we don't deserve it, or want something that is different, we end up changing that less positive experience into something more positive.

By accepting our anxiety, we will find calm. By accepting our flaws, which are natural and human, we will find the confidence to face life. When we make peace with who we really are, without judgment, self-judgment, or self-punishment, we will not feel shaken or bothered by the judgments of others, because we already accept ourselves. It will not be the judgments of others that change the perspective and image we have of ourselves.

If we let go of the idea that we can be better, we will certainly discover that, after all, we are and are much better than we thought.