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No can possibly understand this kind of pain or my decisions on how I should handle this family crisis. It may certainly be similar to that of losing a child, I would imagine. But when your 13 year old daughter comes to you in the laundry room one evening and tells you that your husband, her step-dad has been having sex with her while you were at work or running errands or caring for elderly parents for the passed 4 years, well let's just say, no one can prepare you for that kind of mind numbing pain. I assure you that the shock and horror of this type revelation coming from your precious first born daughter is beyond anything you can ever imagine. For her, I still find it excruciating to imagine what all she endured and the years of hiding this kind of trauma.
Yes, I must say I was more aware than many of the provassiveness of child sexual abuse that has increasingly occurred in our society over the years. However, it was not just a south Louisiana problem or the fact that the perp (my husband) who was not her biological father but it was his profession and the influence he had that made our case so very different and difficult to live through. It was everything that led up to and the future events of this disclosure given to me by my very brave child that day and how it forever changed the trajectory of all of our lives from that moment on. For you see our situation was far more complicated by the fact that the "perp", my husband, and her stepdad all these years was not only a licensed psychologist but one who had worked within the court system for over 25 years.
In the coming posts I will share intimate details of our story of survival which spans a near 25+ year period. A true non-fiction story with all of the fear, tears, deceit, the masterful psychological tricks he used to keep us (including many whose job it was to defend and protect) trapped in our silence, the helplessness/hopelessness of having many in the legal system turn a deaf ear to us all because "he" (husband,step-dad,psychologist, officer of the Court) knew far too many secrets about many of them. Secrets so awful that they could never chance being exposed. You see, they all knew he could surly react as any trapped rabid animals would and there was no way they could allow him to turn on any of them and share what he knew about them. All of these secrets he dutifully had jotted in his plethora of client files over the years would surly destroy many a political career as well as their families. I'm certain you are thinking, well he had certainly signed ethics clauses and confidentiality agreements. After all, he was licensed through the State to practice. I submit to you now, what I will share here will paint a portrait of a very sick man who spent years doing very sick and evil things and I am convinced he used his brilliant mind to pursue the field of psychology more to find help for himself. Later as he began his private practice he began to justify many of his immoral depraved actions as client after client allowed him to see he was not the only one having those type thoughts and desires. I should note here at the start, he was a committed agnostic with an extremely gifted mind equaled to that of any noteable scientist. Unfortunately, for him he wasted his God given gifted mind on the darkness in this world and was always fearful and critically envious of those who aspired to living in light and goodness that still was in this world.
With all the details, that at times will be difficult for me to revisit, the purpose of my sharing our story with the world is to offer all, if not just one hurting family, living through this agony, hope. Hope that could not come from any of the usual conventional sources such as the legal system or family services organizations. Hope and unexplainable peace that can only be found in Jesus and His promise to never leave or forsake us. We are survivors, real overcomers and I pray you all will be edified as I share our story of surviving the years of abuse, isolation, fear and what it took to overcome what seemed impossible too live through.
Til next post, be blessed ✨🙏✨
Hollyander