There are many little actions that you can take to help your friends and family avoid abuse and create healthier living conditions.
It is not understandable to me how someone does not intervene when someone else is being hurt. Perhaps that person is not emotionally equipt to deal with the concept and prefers to live in a world of denial. Perhaps they have had no models of successful intervention to mimic. Perhaps they only care about being around positivity. Perhaps they are afraid of getting hurt, themselves. At a practical level, that translates to not wanting to get 'mixed up' in things, becoming angry at the victim for bringing (especially when asking for help) and making the world a worse place while trying to feel better.
If this rings a bell at all, for you or people you know, please read on. I'm not trying to judge past actions, but to provide you with some alternatives for consideration, improvement and sharing. Here are some practical ways that you can support someone who is going through some type of domestic abuse:
Keep it light - Ask if he or she would like to go shopping, visit a local village, go for a walk, visit a local garden... even if for 30 minutes... something to get them out and away. Or, perhaps you want to visit and cook, garden or work on a project together. Create some moments of enjoyment, rather than dwelling on the issues. If someone wants to talk, he or she will, and if asking for suggestions, there's your chance to add a deeper level of support.
Be around - A person may feel safer, if they have friends and family around all of the time. If everyone had friends and family around supporting them with kindness and encouragement, domestic abuse could be greatly minimized. Family can be the friends you choose to become family.
Send money - Quietly sending 'just thinking of you' money can build a freedom fund, so the victim can eventually escape. Sure, it might be wasted, but it might not. And, it may make a big difference to know someone cares in a way that is not embarassing.
Make space - Giving a person options of where they can go, stay, sit, work, talk, rest, eat and think can be a slice of freedom a person needs to think things through. This seems easy and obvious for people with freedom and choices, but in an abusive situation, having a space isn't always as easy as it should be.
Housing - This may be the most significant need of someone going through an abusive situation. If you can help a person secure housing with a deposit and payments for several months or a year, it could be just what is needed. This seems like a lot, doesn't it? But, what is more important, a person or money? Be careful of putting unfair expectations on someone. Consider you may be happier giving larger sums of money like this without strings attached.
Work - It's a little tricky hiring friends and family. If you can and want to, great. But, you can also help a person find work in other ways. Crafting a positive summary message about the person's professional strengths and sending it to people who know people who can hire may be more productive than emailing the person job listings or nagging a person to get a job. Do you have an idea for something someone can sell? If they agree to do what it takes, perhaps you want to purchase the starting inventory. In my experience, 1 out of 7 projects will make it, so consider this a long-term strategy, if going that route. You may need the experience of 6 to get the 7th to create income. It's a difficult time to create money, so multiple options, that don't interfere with a person's focus, may be what's needed.
Community - Do what you can to help your community. This will give you a chance to hear who needs what and to share what you need with others. Be a good citizen. Learn from others' experiences and actions. It is good practice for when those around you need your support most.
Do you have any suggestions for how people can support others who may be in abusive situations? I'd love to hear about it.
Best wishes,
Lisa
https://steemit.com/@lisachandler
Image courtesy of Google search results for love
