I am glad to see your story goes on. Isn't it amazing, how often we think, we're over something, we have thought it through a thousand times, but still, every now and then, a new memory or a new idea, theory, all the sudden rises to the surface?! I am having something similiar, atm. My solution this time: I asked my father ( he is not the abuser, but I just realized, he didn't protect me either …) if he's willing do visit a shrink. He is. We will go there two days after my upcoming birthday. Best gift ever!