The first picture is from July 4th, 2016 and the second is from tonight, December 8th, 2016.
That hasn't even been the worst it's been.
I had acne here and there in high school, mostly on my forehead. Little bumps under the skin, but nothing like what I was about to experience when I graduated from high school. I was not prepared. I don't know how it happened, but it did and out of the blue. I don't remember how it feels to have clear skin, but I know that someday soon I will. Dealing with acne takes a toll on your confidence. I did not want to show my face, go out in public or even look at myself in the mirror. I didn't want to see myself. I acted like I didn't exist. I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. I was afraid. I was vulnerable. When you meet someone, the first thing they look at is your face. I let it get the best of me. At first I blamed my acne on the transition I was making to health. I changed my diet from the Standard American Diet to eating an all-organic, plant-based diet. After a year, I knew that wasn't the case anymore. It was internal. It was my emotions. My built up anger which turned into self-loathing and eventually I began to resent myself. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without crying. I was telling myself these stories in my head about how I wasn't good enough. I wasn't this enough, I wasn't that enough. I was constantly comparing myself. I wasn't happy with who I was. I couldn't be confident in myself. I lived for being built up. I survived off of the compliments which built my self-esteem. But that was only temporary. People could tell me that I'm this and that, but it was myself that I was listening to. My negative self, my self that only brought me down and dug me deeper into the hole I buried myself in. I was angry. At my body in my skin. I couldn't understand why what I thought was the "perfect diet" was making me break out. Like I said, it wasn't what I was eating. It was what I was thinking. I couldn't digest my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I would hold them in and bottle them up. I was a ticking time bomb. At this point in time, in this moment, I am realizing the behaviors, beliefs and patterns that no longer serve me. I now let them go. I make room for what does serve me and invite it to stay. I let in the light and shine from the inside out. My skin is now clearing. It feels smooth to the touch just like I remembered! I repeat daily affirmations telling myself that my skin is clear. My skin is the best skin I have ever seen! My skin is glowing. My skin is dewy. I am radiant ✨