It happened today.
And to be honest, it’s been a long time coming.
My son hurt someone. But it’s not like it sounds. It was an accident, one that was his fault, and one that developed out of his poor decision.
He’s five. And he’s a powerhouse. And if you get him wound up, well ... he gets a little out of control.
Today, he was playing tag at Day Care. While he was running, for one reason or another, he reached out and grabbed the shirt of his friend (who was running in the other direction) and essentially clotheslined the boy, bringing him crashing down to the hardwood floor directly on his elbow.
When I arrived at the Day Care facility to pick my children up, the teachers were still running around, scrambling to deal with my son’s screaming friend and trying to ascertain just how serious the situation was. There was speculation that the arm might be broken, or that damage of some kind might have been done to the elbow.
Situations like this in Japan often require specific actions of atonement. Responsibility must be taken. There are words and phrases and actions particular to the culture here that are used, or that should be used, or that are expected to be used. After almost ten years of living here, I know something about them. I have picked up on them by watching the people around me and by paying attention. I have observed them in movies and TV shows, and I have seen them displayed on the News. But still, this is not my native culture, and Japanese is not my native language.
When situations like this arise, I realize just how much I don’t know or understand about the country in which I am living, nor about the language I must use to communicate with.
Situations like this terrify me. Fitting in, doing things the way society expects them to be done, is no longer a decision that is just about me. I am a father and a husband now. And I am an emigrant as well, which essentially means that I am a guest in the land that I now live. One little mistake could cause a number of unwanted consequences and results for my wife and children, consequences and results that I’m not even aware of and can’t even imagine until I’ve been told about them after the fact.
Today I did what I think was the right thing to do. I waited over thirty minutes for the injured child’s mother to pick him up and I formally apologized to her. I know that my language could have been better, that there were better things that I could have said, but I don’t know what the words and phrases that make up that language are. All I can do now is hope that I played the role I was supposed to play well enough for no trouble to arise out of the situation.
Today’s Exercise
I only had time for my morning walk today. The rest of my steps came from work, which were less than usual because I spent a lot of time at my desk correcting essays.
