An entrepreneur, freelancer and employee complaining. Don't read if complaining about stuff makes you feel like the complainer (me) is just whining about little things that shouldn't even be mentioned.
The whole day I just felt really tired and off. My brain was working really slow. When someone spoke to me, I had a hard time to understand what they were saying right away if it wasn't any way related to the thing that I was doing at that time. And even if it was, my brain was just on slow motion.
It was pretty hard to smile, fortunately dancing usually does affect me so that I do cheer up a bit.
And talking to people. I kept that in a bare minimum.
Fortunately I had my own classes, I mean the classes where I'm my own boss and I don't need to answer to any employer about some customer complaining how rude I was as I didn't talk that much and didn't smile enough. The customers that I have in my company, are the ones that are left who understand that I'm only a human. I'm just like anyone else. I sometimes do have bad days. And then the worse days ever.
I mean, I've been instructing classes, smiling and repeating the same clichés just so that the customers think that their well-being is the most important thing in the world at that time, even though I've barely managed to stand and stay up. Let alone dance. Not because I've been sick, but because life has been really hard and difficult at that time. And the only things my mind has had was that I don't want to be me, I don't want to be here, I don't want to exist.
And then, if I'm actually physically sick, what I usually am not, but when I am, and I really want to recover as quickly as possible, I stay home and rest. And if my classes are cancelled because no-one could cover me, some customers e-mail to my employer how low work moral I have because I didn't even bother to get a substitute. And how I should come to work if I can't manage to get someone to do my work. I mean, they actually want that I would come there, with runny nose, sneezing all the time, spreading flu and risking my health when dancing, jumping and sweating when sick. And that customer has had no idea how much I and my employer have spent time searching a substitute, or why I cannot come to instruct the class. Employers are forbidden to tell the reason to anyone, even if they know it, and employees are not obligated to tell the reason why they are sick. They have told the doctor and if the doctor has given them sick leave, that is solely between the employee and the doctor.
Yesterday wasn't like that. I was just really slow and had lost my brain. But working.
I was also lazy. Went to work and came back with bus. Didn't walk. But I did get over 20k steps as I did so many new choreographs.
Perfectly fitting music video for yesterday.
