Over 13,000 steps today.
I had a bit of a break down at work today. My anxiety attacks are getting worse by the day and I don't know how to handle it. I can't breathe, my chest hurts, I start pacing, it's so uncomfortable and irritating and maddening.
And today I had to go outside and have a little cry. I've had a tension headache most of the day because of it. My feet are killing me, though I've been using this machine for an hour to an hour twenty every single day.
I'm not sure where I go from here. The Republican controlled Senate (in Minnesota) moved to block marijuana legalization here, and our medical marijuana allowance does not cover anxiety.
I hated the side effects last time I was on anti-anxiety meds.
What the hecko am I supposed to do?
It's exhausting.
But, I pushed the kids into going into the woods tonight. In the end they enjoyed it, though they didn't want to go out in the beginning.
It's great to get back into the woodd, even if it was just an hour or so, and it wasn't peaceful or quiet with three noisy children and one goofy dog.
We cleared a little bit of litter using a bag Sparrow found along the way.
I've done very little writing today, and I'm afraid it will have to wait until tomorrow. I'm stinking exhausted.
Love you guys. #make2019yourbitch
