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I am not doing well at this thing people call “relaxation.” My stress seems to pretty much keep at a steady pace throughout the day and the night. Yup — both. Round the clock. It is like a river, always flowing.
Why? Well, life’s demands, primarily, and work. Mostly work.
But work doesn’t stay at work. It rattles around in my head. It stays with me when I’m hanging out with friends, doing something with my family or having dinner with my husband. It stays with me all night.
How do I know? Because I’m not sleeping. I mean, I sleep for a while, but then I wake up. I actually try not to. As I’m floating up through the layers of sleep, I whisper to myself to stay asleep, that’s it’s not time to wake up, that there are still dreams to dream. And sometimes it works.
But when work becomes overwhelming, all my tactics stop working. I wake up at 3 am and I am thinking about a work problem, or I’m trying to puzzle out how to fit in more than will fit into my work day. I find my brain scratching around like a hen trying to think of what I’ve forgotten. And there are things — things that are nagging from some part of my consciousness that must get done. Even though I have them all on lists, I can’t ignore them while I do other things and find time for them.
All my tasks are like a nursery full of crying children, each one demanding attention and nourishment.
So I need to meditate. I need to get better at this. Please tell me what works for you. Please tell me your secrets.
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