Addiction is not a disease.
Addiction is a learned behavior that is reinforced by physical dependence and self-limiting beliefs (endless loops).
Recovery is achieved by:
a) removing the physical dependence
b) removing the self limiting beliefs
c) abstaining completely from dangerous drugs or using moderation (if possible)
Addiction has nothing to do with spirituality, God, or a higher power. I had a relationship with a higher power before, during, and after my active addiction. My drug use was very much intertwined with my own spiritual exploration and the connection I had with God at the time. These spiritual experiences were mostly positive ones. The negative ones were valuable learning experiences. I don't suffer from a spiritual deficiency.
Convincing myself that I have a "progressive, incurable, and fatal" disease is a self-limiting belief and not a positive mindset. Convincing myself that I am and always will be "an addict" is another self-limiting belief that encourages helplessness. Yes, I was a full-blown addict at different points in my life, however I am NOT an addict at this point in my life.
Regularly surrounding myself with other self proclaimed addicts is not healthy in the long run. While there are healthy, positive, caring, thoughtful members, there are also those that have serious mental disorders, are convicted violent offenders, gang members, extremely negative or narcissistic, racist, and just plain creepy.
Narcotics Anonymous is mostly Christianity. There is the requirement of faith in a higher power, original sin (the disease of addiction), redemption (turning our will over to the care of God / HP). There is repetitious prayer, group prayer (Serenity Circle), tithing (the 7th tradition), literature that is NA approved only (Bible), meetings , fellowship, recruitment, confession of sin (sharing at meetings and step-work with a sponsor), service positions (clergy) etc.. Most, if not all of the meetings themselves take place in a Christian church, and "dues" are used to pay rent to that church.
There is no scientific literature about addiction and recovery in NA, and I'm sure reading any aloud at meetings would be highly frowned upon. Since "using successfully" is impossible according to NA, there are no tips or classes on how to use in moderation. There is no information or advice about making better choices when using drugs. The idea of harm reduction is never even considered.
I agree with NA that complete abstinence from drugs is the best solution. Let's get real though. It isn't always going to work out that way. Members who relapse multiple times lose their status in the fellowship and have been shunned to various degrees.
Members are encouraged to share their clean time. Clean time is the number of consecutive days without having used drugs. In my own experience, I had used only 3 times during the course of a year and 3 months, however I wasn't allowed to count the amount of time I was clean before I relapsed. This whole Idea is silly to me. It's shouldn't be a contest to see who can stay clean the longest. According to NA, using drugs after having been clean puts someone "right back where they left off" in active addiction. This simply isn't true.
Whenever I had a problem or an issue with some part of the NA program, my opinion was dismissed as "my disease talking" or "my disease trying to trick me." It's convenient for members to blame ideas or viewpoints not in harmony with the NA program on their disease. This disease closely resembles the Christian version of Satan, constantly trying to trick us and deceive us. It's as if someone's disease has a mind and agenda all of its own. Much like a demon who has possessed someone's body and constantly works to destroy them. I just don't buy it.
NA discourages "self-will", which is a person's attempt to take control of their own life through their own efforts. Instead, NA encourages "God's Will." Again, this is exactly like Christianity. Been there, done that. I have enough common sense to realize that it is my own actions that have allowed me to stay clean. There is no magic or miracles happening contrary to what NA members would like to think.
NA sponsorship violates the principal of anonymity. There is no guarantee of confidentiality like you would find with a licensed therapist or addiction counselor. There is no guarantee that the Sponsor is even capable of helping you stay clean. Both of the sponsors I had were more than willing to talk about other members' personal business. There are no boundaries. You are supposed to trust and follow the direction of your sponsor.
Since NA fiercely encourages sponsorship prior to working the steps, these issues are unavoidable. You can't just do the step work on your own. I'd like to continue doing step work because I find some of it to be beneficial. I'm certainly NOT going to share the most intimate details of my life or the exact nature of my wrongdoings with a sponsor.
Many of the questions in the step working guide have been helpful and insightful to the nature of my personality and my past behaviors both positive and negative. Some of the questions though, are designed to reinforce the NA/Christian concepts I do not agree with, such as helplessness, insanity, surrender, faith etc...
I came to the program because I was required to attend meetings by the courts. In the beginning I gained a lot of valuable insight by listening to other addicts who were also trying to stay clean. I was never made to feel unwelcome. I enjoyed the feeling of being with other people more than anything. I agree that there is therapeutic value in group discussion.
Some times, the meetings and sharing just gave me nausea. There are members that like to "cross talk", members that go on and on about insignificant life events, members that speak too loudly and feel the need to tell everyone how the program works, members that have nothing to say but need to share anyway in order to feel like they are contributing. Members who have been clean for more than 10 years and don't really have anything to say about drug addiction. Members that go on and on about how much worse their addiction was than yours.
I just don't get much out of meetings anymore. I'm not the kind of person who just opens up to a group of people (mostly strangers) about my personal life and struggles. I have a hard time sharing at meetings. It's just awkward for me. The majority of meetings I attend are crowded and it's hard to share when people are all trying to be the next person to talk and mentally masturbate.
I really wanted to make friends in the program, I tried multiple times. The issue I kept encountering was that the friendships I gained were all "NA friendships" and most of the time I spent with those people was either attending meetings or attending NA gatherings and events. Basically all roads led back to a meeting. I find this very frustrating as I have many many interests and time is precious and I get so antsy just sitting at a meeting when there is a world out there to explore. I want friendships / relationships that go beyond the fellowship. Yet just as I experienced as a young adult in the Mormon church, the friends and relationships are centered around the church (Na fellowship).