When Sports Stop Being Fun. Are We Creating "Trophy Kids"?

The odds of making it to the pros in any sport are incredibly low. Miniscule in fact, yet there are so many kids that have the dream of someday making it to the elite level of their respective sport. There are also many parents who have this same dream for their children. A dream that in many cases can become all-encompassing. More and more I am seeing the dreams of parents get in the way of the emotional health and well being of young athletes.

According to the NCAA, only 1.7 percent of college football players and 0.08 percent of high school players play at any professional level. Only 1.3 percent of college hockey players and 0.1 percent of high school players play professionally. In basketball, only 1.2 percent of male and 0.9 percent of female college players play pro ball; for both, only 0.03 percent of high school players make it. And only 1 percent of college soccer players and 0.04 percent of high school players go pro.
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These are staggering numbers considering the number of kids involved in sports that don’t even make it to the high school level. If you expand this to kids outside the United States and North America the numbers are even smaller.

As parents, we get our kids involved in sports for a variety of reasons. We want our children to be involved in physical activity to be healthy. We want to engage our kids in social activities so that they can expand friendship groups and build relationships. We want our kids to have fun. This can start as early as the ages of 3 and 4. I remember how excited I was as a parent when my kids first started playing sports. It was so much fun to see them out there giving their all and having fun. Unfortunately, for some parents, this can be the beginning of something different. The initial reasons to get their children involved in sports start to become blurred and a bigger goal develops. The desire to see their child become “great” replaces all the good reasons for their kids to be involved in sport in the first place.

I teach grade 8 and I have several students who miss a tremendous amount of time from school because they are involved in elite level sports. These students in some cases have a difficult time keeping up with the coursework that they miss out on. Unfortunately, when discussing issues with parents it becomes very clear that school and education are a secondary priority to the training needed to get their kid to the “next” level. If this is the case at the age of 12 then what is going to happen when these kids get to high school. What if they don’t make it to the “next” level? Will they not need an education then?

At the same time, I see an increased level of pressure put on these athletes. Parents are pushing kids to train harder at an earlier age than ever. The swim club where my kids swim has started to implement twice a day practices for those wanting to be in the elite level programs. This means swim training from 5:00-7:00 every morning, then school and then back in the pool for another 2 hours of training in the evening. This 5 -6 days a week. Kids age 10 to 14 putting in these incredible hours with the hopes of making it to the Olympic level. I have witnessed kids in tears heading to practice and parents angry about the lack of dedication. Is this why we got our kids involved in sports?

There has been an increasing number of incidents in youth sports involving parents and their behaviour while attending their kids sporting events. Just the other day I was listening to the local sports radio station and they had a segment all about parent outburst in sports. The number of people calling in and emailing the show was overwhelming. Stories ranged from parents yelling at coaches because of playing time for their child to full on flights starting in the stands over a blown call by a referee. Games being stopped because a parent has decided to come onto the field and verbally attack a player for their actions on the field or even to pull their own kid out of the game and verbally abused them because of their poor play.

Again I ask you, Is this why we got our kids involved in sports in the first place? What is more important for our children, success or happiness? Does your child need to be successful in a sport in order to be happy in sport? Is that what your thinking was the day that you registered your child in their first sport?

When kids first start playing sports they are very likely to be at many different levels. Kids grow both physically and mentally at different rates and this can create a big gap in performance at young ages. It is often these kids who stand out above the rest who are then thought to have a chance to make it all the way. Is this the moment when sports for fun and development turns into sports for greatness? Is this when parents ultimately decide that their kid is going to be a pro?

We hear in the media how some of the greatest athletes of our time were “groomed” by their parents to greatness. Venus and Serena Williams were pushed from a very young age by their father to play tennis. They became two of the best players of all time. Wayne Gretzky was “groomed” by his father in hockey. He would practice for hours upon hours on the homemade backyard rink. Gretzky is now thought of as the greatest hockey player of all time. Tiger Woods was introduced to golf by his dad at an incredibly young age. Tiger Woods actually appeared on the Michael Douglas at the age of 2 showing his skills. At two years old Tiger was being “groomed” to be one of the greatest PGA golfers of all time. If these parents can turn their kids into elite professional athletes then so can I, right?

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This has led to an increase in the number of parents who decide that they are going to do whatever it takes to help their child make it to the highest levels of their sport. They decide that they are willing to put in both the time and financial commitment that it takes to make this happen. In some cases, this decision is made without taking the time to make sure it is what the child truly wants. This level of commitment can create an increased level of expectations and result in frustration for both the parent and the child. I wish I could count the number of times I have heard a child say “I wish I could just quit!”

A documentary released in 2013 demonstrates this issue very well. “Trophy Kids” is a documentary about 5 kids and their quest to make it to the pros in their various sports. In each case, the parents are involved at a very high level and the parent's expectations for the kids is extremely high. Parents express a great deal of hostility and frustration and disappointment towards their children if they do not perform at a certain level or put in enough effort according to their expectations. The cases in this documentary are a little extreme but it really helps emphasize this issue at hand here. You can clearly see in this documentary how the kids are struggling to remain interested in their respective sports and upon further research, it appears that most of these “high level” prospects have already stopped playing the sport they were once so good at. Why? They were passionate about the sport in the beginning. Do parents push their children away from the sports they love because of unattainable expectations?

Additionally, more and more pressure to succeed in sport has led to earlier sport specialization, and may increase rates of overuse injury and sport burnout. Sport burnout is a consequence of chronic stress that results in a young athlete stopping participation in a previously enjoyable sport.
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The number of hours spent training and playing a sport can lead to overtraining in some cases. This combined with the stress of high expectations has the potential to lead to burnout in young athletes.

I think it is important to always hold on to the reasons we get kids involved in sports and never let that change. At times kids are going to demonstrate excellence in sport and that is ok. Some of these kids will indeed go on to be great professional athletes as well. As parents, we need to be realistic that the odds of this are extremely low and that our job is to support our kid's dreams and passions in whatever way possible. They will have good days, bad days and great days. We need to be there to encourage them and to tell them no matter what the day is that they are doing their best and that it is so much fun to watch them play. Kids will ultimately decide what level they want to get to and when that time comes we should be there to support that too. Never lose sight of the why and always hold on to the joy of seeing our kids happy.

By: Hive account@broncofan99