Life is just a journey and not the season, you have to get your memory out of that big prison you probably don't want to get out of, even if you have beautiful memories of those trips you've made, it's not wise to have memories that can be an obsession.
One of the things I've always considered in my 19 years of life is that the love we feel for someone is always going to fall apart from the actions they take with an attitude that many people don't like.
When you're in love, you only look around, not at what you may find outside the boundaries you impose on yourself on the love journey you have with your boy or girl.
Actually, when you're in love you don't see anything wrong with people, but, over time, you realize all those things that other people were saying, that they were saying that they saw what was right and wrong in both partners.
The truth is that I don't have a bad concept of love, because when you give yourself totally in love it's very nice to be able to enjoy it and even more, to know that things didn't stop working because of you. It's the best you can feel. You have no feelings of guilt or remorse for anything.
You just have to learn to get up after one of the falls that are considered strong, you just have to learn to get up right away and that's what happened to me.
I was completely in love, I knew what I could be feeling at that moment of my life, I knew what was going on in my head where it was just that person I wanted to have always by my side to give her all the love and affection I was feeling.
They always say that the first few days are honey and the others are shit but, truth be told, it was one of the best experiences to be able to understand one thing ``You don't have to prove yourself fully how you feel so you don't get hurt''.
Although many times what we want is to love and be loved, not all of us give and receive the same thing, on the contrary, if you give love you can in a moment receive the same affection, but, there are times when you give love and what you receive you do not like and are disappointed.
Therefore, you have to know when to give love and when to reserve it and always think about the well-being of yourself and not much about the other person, because, at the end of all this emotional rush you will always be alone even if you have a partner.
Love is like a building that needs to be built little by little and with care, the love that the other person may be feeling for you, unfortunately does not last long.
The best of the experiences I could have had was a two-year, four-month relationship that by April was over and even today's sunshine will continue. Because, lies are never forgotten.
Especially when he was in deception, infidelity, mistrust, lack of morals, among other things. Most of all it was a lack of words and love, because I have considered myself a person who, when he loves, does not notice anyone else and sometimes I think it was a mistake not to have done the same.
But, on the one hand, I'm fine with myself, because I know that the fault was not me and I also know that the man when he falls, what he does is fall standing up, but, the woman is the opposite when she falls, he doesn't do it standing up but everyone comes to criticize and discriminate against her for what she did to the man.
Therefore, my thirst for revenge in doing the same thing in a relationship had faded, because I do not lose my dignity for a person that today is not worth having. Through this loving disappointment I got to know a great guy.
Although, if you consider him a madman and a child, I think I prefer that crazy, immature child a thousand times over someone else. Even though that kid thinks I'm in love with my ex, it's weird because he doesn't know how I feel, but I really like that person.
That's where I'm coming back to believing in love, but this time it's not the same as before, because I don't expect it to do the same to me, so I let things flow as they should and I'm just happy with what I have and what I will have.
I have always been certain that the one who perseveres is the one who overcomes all those obstacles that may arise in the course of our lives. For that, I thank God, because I met a man who might be the love of my life.
And even though I'm a little scared, I won't stop fighting for what I want. Most people who know me and my personality completely know that I am a fighter, a warrior woman who goes against everything and also against everyone.
Beyond all the things that can be presented I am very subjective, I have always liked to be to the imagination of things. I have always considered myself a happy woman who loves to give advice so that people can do well even if they are the same ones who once hurt me.
When you learn the art of forgiveness is when you are truly at peace with your inner self. You know that in spite of everything you don't care what has happened, I pretend nothing is happening and go on my way, but, I always know where to get into and where I have to get away.
Many people tell me why I treat my ex-partner, because I only give them one simple reason, I promised him that I would always be helping him in his endeavor even if our paths have separated, I will always be there.
And, uh, that's what I'm really doing right now. When you learn to grow up you realize that it's not worth wasting time and sometimes it's not worth being proud of the other person.
You don't know how delicious it is to talk to him after what happened. It's the most beautiful thing there is, to look like friends instead of having an enmity because of something stupid. That's why you have to learn one thing. After a failed relationship where people still talk to each other, there are certain limits that must be met.
Limits are those things that were done before that cannot be done now, that includes sex. Well, in May I met a great person who is helping me too much and I can't really complain about that.
I'm liking that person but, I don't know if he feels the same attraction to me, it's just a matter of asking him directly so he feels ashamed and embarrassed to do it. But you have to keep in mind that sometimes you have to take the initiative and not leave all the work to men.
I am a jealous person, too much I would say, because what I consider mine has to be mine alone. Generally speaking, the jealousy I have come to feel is nothing more than insignificant, so I have always kept quiet.
Many people have told me that this is bad, we cannot keep quiet about what we have to say at once, because all that anger and all those feelings that are often found can hurt us.
Besides that, I'm a strong person of character, I'm not a submissive type of character in front of other people, sometimes I become a very demanding person in what I want and more so when it comes to a relationship.
I know that not every day a person tends to give 50% which sometimes by mail is usually his or her turn, but sometimes you have to give 60% because the other person only in the day gave 40% or many times, you tend to give 30% and the other person has to give 70% of it but, everything has to be based on a 100% that we both have to give.
I'm like this, sometimes simple, sometimes complicated with things, sometimes I'm in a good mood, sometimes I find myself with crossed wires where I don't want to expect anything from anyone, sometimes I just want a little love, affection, affection that is real and not fake.
Sometimes I just hope they give me the same love I usually give, so I've considered not giving at all that I know I can give to a person who really doesn't deserve anything from me and as time goes by I realize who really deserves that love I can give and even more.
Because, I have shown myself to be able to give more of myself in a relationship that is often not perfect. I just want to stabilize myself in what I really have in mind in my plans.
Maybe those plans I have don't match those of others, but I know that they are mine and that no one can tell me what is wrong, and that it is what can be in good condition to make this a perfect melody.
I also know that not all the people who say they are with me will really be with me and I really experienced this in 2017 when I first had a disease that could have taken me away from this world forever.
Malaria is a disease in which a parasite lodges in your liver and does not leave your liver easily, you just have to get plenty of rest and therefore you should be careful not to get too close to the sun's rays while you are taking the medicine, not to sweat because you put all the medicine in your pores when you sweat. You get tired too quickly, you can't get out of your home because it leaves you weak when you start shaking, among other things.
Therefore, it is not easy to have malaria, especially when it is a question of two types: the viral and the strong one that only tends to strike in an area called "Las Minas", Bolivar State, Venezuela. It's completely difficult to be living with this disease for three or four months at a time and not really have anyone who is aware of how you are feeling, only your parents and family members.
But, all this I let go even though I realize who are really with me and on the one hand I am certain of something, I am too spiteful but I am not vindictive, so my soul is completely calm when I am not thirsty for revenge against someone who has hurt me because the law of karma is the law that is responsible for doing and undoing everything around him.
On the other hand, I know I had once said that I was not going to fall in love again because of what I was going through with an old separation, but, I can't rule in my heart even though, sometimes I feel like I'm falling in love with the wrong person for who she is, I don't know what to really do with what I feel.
Since, I haven't said it completely but I've been leaving clues but I think that's not enough for what I feel and that I can say it in a way I can understand. I don't want to hurt the person I love most who is my sister, because the same guy likes her as I do.
That's why I've repressed my feelings and I know that this same boy is playing with fire from which he can burn very ugly, well, I don't want my sister to have her first amorous disappointment, that's why I'm staying still to what I feel because for once I go through this...
Now I wonder, why does love have to be like this? I explain, when you love a person who has won your heart, there are certain moments when you don't know if you can keep talking to him or what you can do to rekindle what he was feeling.
Then, it is where I get to the point of not feeling anything, where I want to be cold again, where I realize that I'm only passing through one person so that they can find love, and another thing, the doctor has detected that I can't be getting angry or stressed out too much because it causes me headaches.
Besides that, I can't be experiencing those feelings that are too strong for me, so it's at this moment that I feel those feelings the most and all I do is cry.
But, many people tell me that crying is too bad because it's a sign that you're too weak. But, that's where I say it isn't, because tears are only expressions that you have to take out, too, it frees you from those repressed feelings that you have inside of you. So, the tears are just a relief that you can feel in a matter of seconds and then comfort the soul and finally be strong in front of other people.
That's why I cry sometimes with enough intensity because of what I feel in my soul, that's why I feel that I will be alone for too long because the person I like is only there to deny something that actually happened but not at the time I said I was going out, the truth, I have no intentions or had them to be with a person I had met in a very short time.
I just wanted a friendship, even though that person wanted more than that, I know that what I said to him once will never be forgotten, because I was really feeling something for a boy named Ernesto, but I want everything to be silent, because I feel that he will be with my sister, and I have more to wish them all the happiness in the world.
All I know is that I haven't even left home or gone to college since I don't feel like it. I've already lost this semester and I can only look forward to the next one and go on with my life without having to worry about friends, just me and my work and soon after college.
Always remember that, face to face we see more hearts we do not dare to know completely, because, when we are with a person, we do not dare to know beyond the circle where we are, but other people see everything beyond what you do not perceive and this is something very serious.
We must know more about people in order to know if it is the right one for us in this changing and relative world. But, we must keep in mind that not everything you feel or see is bad.
Sometimes, there are true feelings in a person who has told you lies and you feel completely satisfied with it. You just have to learn to differentiate which things are true and use them to your advantage.
For a long time I have believed in the hope of true love, not of a prince charming who only embraces all the beauty he can have (in this case, it is his virtues), too, must have flaws that make him even more unique. You must keep in mind that humanity is only in search of a soul mate that will satisfy each and every one of the feelings and emotions it may have.
To be made by a completely different person and full of life, but (there always has to be a but), life is not based only on this abstract search for a person. But, in addition to that, we are in search of what makes us happy, makes us feel completely comfortable with what we are living, feeling, in this case, LOVING.
Most people want to capture in their book of life all those moments of joy that happened and erase all the bad memories that are in them, but, we must keep in mind that the bad moments are the ones that teach us the most to be more cunning and not to believe all that we can cross the path.
Although, each one is the owner of his own life, of his own inspirations, you must know that the moment will come when we will no longer have anything to be inspired by, only, the inspiration will come from ourselves and that is when we will learn to value ourselves.
One of the main things to keep in mind is the self-worth of yourself and everything you do in your life. For, without this value for ourselves, we will never be able to achieve all that we want for our profits.
Love will always be included with the value you can give yourself, about your life, about your body, about your thoughts. Love and courage are two things that are currently being lost, and just to make a person who believes in love, not valued and vice versa. This is completely fatal to humanity waiting for a change, a new life.
Here's what I've written for today. By the way, if I ever have the courage to show this to the world, my name is Miriandrys Rosal, I am 19 years old, I am 1.59 centimeters tall, my skin color is dark brown, my hair dark red, my eyes brown. I won't describe my location, I'm afraid of being kidnapped.
Now I'll get up, leave my pencil and paper and go get some coffee.
Written by: @betesda
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