Imagine an indiana jones map and swap the plane for a Maxus van the colour of a batfishes lips and we are on the road again on a squiggly route hugging the south west coast.
A plume of African air gives us the hottest day as the year as we set out to the Grinagog Festival. The first day gives us firs - giant Douglas ones - as we make our way to an Avenue of Giants in the New Forest. Past jaywalking ponies we make it to the big reds for sundown.
On to Ringwood for a craft ale and craftier bin dive at a local supermarket. Here we find discarded cider, juices, sexy fruit and passion fruit tarts. We're stocked up with treats and head to the Jurassic coast. Lyme Regis is full of clotted cream, gingerbread and black cherry whippy ice cream and a beach comb for prehistoric fossils .
There's rumours of a pink stoned beach and triassic blood red cliffs and we find them at Burleigh Salterton. Pirating the tides we find gemstones and giant pebbles to slip and slide our feet across but we need to keep moving. Its gogogo to grinagog and we're a day late due to our Triassic trundle .
We make it to Torquay and around to meadfoot beach . Dinner is skip dived and eaten on the beach with a seal for company. Sparkles are quickly put on and cocktails poured as we make our way to the Abbey for a random rave up with Askills and vaudevillian flea circus'
Sunday is a lazy, hazy day starting with foraging seabeat and three corner leak. Back to the festival for shell shaped sound systems by the seashoe before we head to Babbascombe for the Devil's Armxhair. A shock of red cliff and fallen houses sliding into the sea. Again the bins provide dinner. Lobster tails and champagne buttr. We park up in Paignton and drink fanny cider at a CAMRA pub.
Motorbikes provide our morning wake up call and it's a free breakfast of champions. fizz and raspberries. Salmon and mushrooms to soak it up. Bellies full we head to the pier with its penny arcade, multi storey slides and lo fi vegas lighting. Its a quick stomp but we're off to Dawlish next for creameries, a cheese called Steve, black swans and blue goo ice cream. driftwood and mermaid purses scatter the beaches as cormorants cruise overhead.