Dear, I have a question for you -
There is a boy in my class (I am17 years old) whom I think I like very much. I always feel weird when I see him. When I go home after school I only think about when we are next going to meet. Sometimes when we talk I am nervous but afterward, I am happy and full of energy. Am I in love with him? What can I do to make him approach me and ask me out? I think he also fancies me...
Michelle
Credit: Eric Hundman
Hi Michelle,
You ask on behalf of many individuals who face similar situations. Some people's hearts have turned so numb that it's difficult for them to recognize their own feelings. Others, like yourself, have just begun to walk on the path of relationships and the new sensations and feelings are still unrecognized.
Whatever the particular case, love is a very subjective feeling; every person can define for themselves whether or not they are in love. Based on what you wrote I can only say that if I were in your shoes, feeling all the emotions that you described, I would certainly define my state of being as "being in love".
As to your second question - you can never make other people act the way you really want. You cannot cast a spell or manipulate your life in a certain way to make the boy "hit on you". The only thing you can do is choose your own actions and act accordingly. It's called being sovereign and independent! That means either you can wait until something happens and he makes a move (the risk is that you may need to wait forever), or you can approach him yourself and express your interest in him.
The latter option carries a risk of rejection and the ego finds it impossible to allow such a thing. Therefore it generates feelings of fear, nervousness, and stagnation. In dealing with the ego and in teaching it to back off and remain silent when issues of the heart are at stake, you can learn a lot about yourself. You can learn, for instance, that your identity is much more than the limited ego, and that you can actually take responsibility for your life and create it to your liking. The simple act of getting over the fear of rejection and approaching this guy can become a great gift towards your growth. If you did it you would feel much better about yourself no matter what his answer was (and he may say "yes"!).
Fortunately for you, even if you decide not to learn the lesson now, you will face it one way or another in the future. If every boy that you ever wanted was hitting on you, you would never learn the lessons of courage, responsibility, creation, giving, the proper role of the ego and others. So instead of bothering yourself with ways to make him ask you out, go within, think about yourself and how lucky you are to have this opportunity to become a strong and powerful girl. Approach him yourself, express your feelings openly and lovingly and remember that by acting so, no matter what he answers, you have already received the biggest gift - you!
Good luck!
