Hello Nomad,
I am a 32 years old man and I have had a girlfriend for the past three months. I have decided that I want our relationship to become more serious (I want to marry her) but I have a problem - I am no longer sexually attracted to her !!!... apart from that, everything else is good and we think alike, complete each other and are generally well connected.
This is not the first time that such a thing has happened to me. I am greatly bothered by the situation. I would like it to succeed but it isn’t happening.
Any advice?
Credit: timesofindia
There is no doubt regarding the importance and function of Sex in a relationship. It seems that you and your spouse crave moving forward, to discover the love that still hides within and to reach additional depths of your relationship. You have the choice to give up this call for exploration and to seek out a new girl, but since you confessed that it was not the first time such a thing has happened, it’s obvious that you have a pattern here that must be dealt with.
In our era, the prime focus rests on the physical characteristics of our potential spouse; it is easier, more comfortable, and very tempting. Therefore, our minds and feelings are trained to operate on a certain low range of immediate physical satisfaction. Naturally, when you commit to one person, whose physical features remain the same for much longer periods of time, you quickly get bored and your agitated body suffers from a lack of new physical stimulus.
Your relationship has to extend itself from sex and Eros alone to deeper love that involves the intellect, the emotions, and the spirit. That will be a place where your two souls will meet and will strive to show themselves to the other. There, your intimacy will deepen and your consciousness regarding the embedded qualities that you two have within will widen.
It will not happen in a day or a week. It requires work, mostly on your side, but once you are able to make your way through that low-level vibration the mighty and awe-inspiring love will show in your life.
So, do not give up!
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Before closing, I want to make a clear distinction between your situation and those of people who have not been attracted at all to their spouses. In the latter case, and assuming this lack of passion lingers and doesn't change, I would recommend to forfeit trying and leave the relationship, because passion is crucial for a healthy and flourishing relationship. Passion indicates a connection beyond this world, so to speak, and it validates the relationship itself. In your case, however, you were attracted at first to your girlfriend, and therefore my above input.