There is a constant struggle for parents to leave their children alone. To allow them to make their own decisions and mistakes from which they can learn from. We "hover" and urge our kids in directions we believe will benefit them later in life. In retrospect, we are really thinking of ourselves. We are trying to keep our kids from making the same mistakes we made. However, those mistakes helped us become who we are today. All those past actions, good and bad, were just part of our development and growth. Or we push our kids to take paths we regret missing. We try to live vicariously through them to accomplish our own goals and dreams.
Two contradictory urges reside in humans. All human beings want to be left alone to be able to do what they want to do. But at the same time, humans also like to tell others what to do. Boy , do we know this side. We try to impose our will on our children, forgetting the first principle. We urge and push our kids for example to take piano lessons because in all actuality, we wish we had spent more time learning to play an instrument. At times, you get a kid who develops to love the piano and plays it with immense joy and pride. But sometimes you get a kid who does not just not love the piano but hates it and never will touch a piano after leaving home. For the record, this was my experience. I don't even go near a piano.
Pushing our kids to do something that is thought to be desirable turns out all wrong and sometimes the outcome is worse than where we started from. The result is just not what we intended to happen. I see parents lecture and preach relentlessly to their kids on the evils of smoking and drugs and the kids do it anyway just to defy and rebel against them. The opposite of what they intended. When you strive to impose your will to a desired outcome, not every knob you turn will have the effect you want.
From my experience, it is better to guide our children from the sidelines. We watch them and direct them of course. Giving them our best advice and opinions, based on our own experience. We stand behind them and give them our support, but ultimately we understand that individually they have to make their own decisions and follow their own path of choice. Our enlightenment is to allow , support, encourage and more importantly to trust their decisions. Love your kids and leave them alone to be independent decision makers pursuing their own goals and desires. Just my random thoughts and opinions for the day. Appreciate you taking the time to read the post. Hope you enjoyed and got some value from it.
