The differences between men and women have been written about and examined for centuries. Most people have heard that a woman crossing a dark parking lot is a completely different experience for a man. Today's post will address a lesson to my sons about how men should interact with other people's children.
These guidelines do not apply to the man's own children. It applies to other's boys and girls, and it includes siblings, step-children, family, friends, cousins, nieces or nephews, etc. This How-to topic is solely to protect men from compromising situations or mistaken interpretations of his actions. Of course there will be exceptions, like an injured child, but keeping these ideas in mind can help a man avoid any impression of impropriety.
The diaper rule #1: You should not carry another person's child unless they are still in diapers. This is not a hard and fast rule, but it is important to keep it in mind. It might sound extreme, but here is a real story from a man in my life:
This young man was holding his 6 year old sister. She asked him why he was touching her butt. He was holding her the way anyone would; She was propped on his hip, with his arm supporting her weight under her butt. He put her down immediately, and felt ashamed, like he did something wrong. I think she had some sort of negative experience that made her look at this normal interaction in a bad light. Regardless, this type of incident could cause a lot more than misplaced shame. Even piggyback rides require a hand on the butt.
The diaper rule #2: Never let a child sit on your lap unless they are still in diapers. I understand this also sounds extreme, but it is so important in today's world that a man does not put himself in a position where his innocent interactions could be twisted and misconstrued into something ugly. You cannot be seen as lecherous if you avoid this type of contact.
Diaper rule #3: Never share a blanket with a child unless they are still in diapers.
A parting tip: Try to avoid being alone with children that are not yours. Having a witness, even another child, could protect a man from false accusations. If baby-sitting, take them to a park or another public place.
Protect yourselves. Men have less credibility in our society; Right or wrong, that is a fact. Putting up boundaries protects everyone. I've seen men incarcerated due to accusations with no proof. Registering as a sex offender is for life, and it tarnishes everything.