Reframing is a technique used to change the way we feel about a situation, person or anything else.
If we have an interaction that triggers our emotions, reframing asks us to see the interaction from a different point of view and react to it differently.
For example, if someone teases us with an offhand remark, we might take it personally and get very upset about it. "What did they mean by that? Is that the way people really see me? Oh my gosh! I really have to look at myself and change that." If something hits us the wrong way, we can stew on it for days, even weeks.
On the other hand, someone else might just laugh at the comment and completely forget about it a few minutes later.
The same person in the same situation can also react to the same comment in completely different ways, depending on their mood at the time. If you're in a bad mood, a comment might set you off into a rage for days. The same person in a good mood might laugh at the same comment. Timing is everything.
When something really upsets you, you can change that emotion by reframing the trigger. There are many ways to do this. The different methods often include stepping outside of yourself and seeing the situation play out from the perspective of a disinterested 3rd party. This will help you realize that a lot of the emotion is coming from your automatic reactions, set up by the past.
Reframing the trigger event from a different perspective is very powerful. When you see a situation from a different point of view, it tends to dis-empower your original frame which caused all that emotion within you.
When you step into the non-triggering framework, it is important to attach strong emotion to the new frame in order to anchor it with in you, thereby removing the original frame in which you blindly reacted.
Here are some common framing techniques.
Ask yourself, "What kind of person do I have to be to laugh at that trigger?" Then pretend you are that person, think of the situation and laugh.
You can also use this to overcome any frustration or blocks in you life that you can't seem to get past. Ask yourself, "What characteristics do I need in order to overcome this obstacle, or to achieve that goal? Which characteristics do I have to lose?" Then pretend that you are that person with that set of characteristics.
It might also help to think of someone you admire who has the traits you seek. Then just do what they would do. Act like they would act. Pretend you're them.
Doing this once won't cut it, just like trying to ride a bike or walk once won't cut it. Like any skill, this takes practice. Luckily, life will dish up opportunities for abundant practice until you master this skill.
Then you'll be faced with new challenges.