After having a truly wonderful appointment yesterday at the social services office, I was given a resource list packet for my County. I was so impressed with my caseworker because she was competent and had a human conversation with me. Often with applying for services it’s demoralizing and I feel exhausted talking to a robot; but with her I felt a new sense of hope renewed, that there are people who care and are passionate about helping others like myself in need right now.
I was applying for food stamps with her and in the meantime until they are approved for about $200 for the month (highest amount you can receive), she raved about how fresh produce and food is at the food banks. I had been to a food bank a couple of times several years ago when I was in transition and had been temporarily laid off/unemployed so I had an idea of what it would be like. Where I went there was fresh vegetables that people had grown from their gardens and donated to the food bank. All of the packaged food was fresh and I was very grateful.
However today I waited for an hour and a half in the food bank line and when I got my groceries I noticed that 99% of the items were past their expiration dates and the produce was on the brink. I thought to myself, “well they wouldn't be giving this to us if it was not good to eat, right? Most things are okay a few days after expiration date. I could cut around some bruised areas on the fruits and vegetables, no big deal. And wow a lot of the packaged meals look really healthy and yummy.” But then when I got home and opened the containers of food it was all MOLDY. I had to throw away 99% of the food that I had gotten there today.
Basically I waited for an hour and a half (with a compressed disk in my back, chronic knee pain, very much in pain, disabled) for a bunch of moldy food. Poisonous food. I am disheartened by this because all the other people that were there today had to go home (or shelter or tents or whatever) and find out that the services they had reached out for had completely and epically failed us. The message I felt was that I am being punished for being disabled, for being under the poverty line. Maybe they think that we are lazy and should get a job like everyone else. Or were already eating out of trash cans, so why not give us rotten food anyway?
beggars can’t be choosers right? But this takes it to a whole another level. A lot of people internalize these messages and won’t file a complaint to the food bank like I intend to. They’ve been told by society over and over that they are less than human. People who are homeless, escaping domestic violence situations, mothers and fathers trying to feed their children, disabled, mentally ill, living under the poverty line, traumatized veterans, people facing discrimination, illegal immigrants, people working several jobs, struggling, etc etc are being treated as less than. Less than human. Not deserving. Class war.
I went home, (which I am so so grateful to have)! But nonetheless, I went home and cried for myself and these other people today and for people who don’t have water in other places in the world. How can this be??. I thought about how awful things are in the world. And then I wanted to watch tv and check out w/ junk food. Self soothe. I wanted to check out. this is one reason why people are using drugs and alcohol, to curb the hunger and the immense feelings of despair.
But Then I thought to myself don’t let them win. Don’t let the few people in power break you down. Don’t let the system break you down. This is exactly what they want. Numb your mind with media inputs and stuff your face full of sugar and cancer and diabetes. They want us to turn on each other. They want us to turn our ourselves. Instead of letting them win, I’m going to advocate for these other people and take a stand. YEAH! I won’t be another person who falls through the cracks in the system. I’m done with Bureaucratic bullshit. I’m going to turn this frustration into inspiration.
A lot of todays items were donated by Starbucks. So now can get big tax write offs and bragging rights that they donate to food banks…but do people really know whats going on? Now I’m sure a lot of this is completely unintentional. I certainly hope so. And maybe this is just this one food bank (but I’ve heard terrible things about food banks from my prior clients too. Yes, I was a clinical counselor at one time. I was on the other side of the table handing out resource lists thinking I was helping them.) But even with the best of intentions, it is hard enough to go to a food bank with all the stigma and shame around it, but then to realize there was no point in going in the first place, and that you are still hungry at the end of the day. A huge slap in the face. Nobody should go hungry. Nobody should face this anywhere in the world. This is an issue in your community. This is a global issue. There is enough energy and resources on this planet to feed everyone.
So PLEASE donate to a food bank as often as you can. They rely on donations! the next time you donate to a food bank please make sure to check that your food isn’t past expiration date. Don’t clean out your cupboards and donate things you should just put in the trash. (Ideally, none of it should be thrown away in the first place…waste not!) If you’re growing a vegetable garden or fruit trees and have some extra please consider donating it. We love FRESH produce! Think about if you would like to eat it, and if you were on the other end receiving this gift. Thank you for your generosity :)
That one time i was at a cult Part I
that one time i was at at cult Part II