On several occasions, I visited the United States of America on vacation. My overall evaluation of both trips. The Peaks of them both – I happily say, exciting, eye-opening, exposing, fun, exhilarating and recreational. The lows on both trips - my general inability to deal with people of little or minimal experience and exposure about other countries and cultures on a global scale. I have since though otherwise of certain American culture and societal dynamics which I now experienced different as an African in America.
As the vacation came along, I got increasingly frustrated for being a black woman of only African descent. My strong African looks and hardly any direct experience nor interaction with American people of different cultural diversities was no excuse either. Some of you readers may not exactly relate, some of you of American descent may probably ask,’ isn’t that a fact?" While some might think it a sequel of "Coming to America". My African Family and friends will laugh along so, I will share my experiences anyway.
For the record, I visited the DMV, Charlotte, Colorado, California - Los Angeles and Sandiego. Las Vegas this holiday season....wait when I tell you about my online dating experience.
My frustrations were caused by people, who on first level interaction asked questions, which to me sounded either too naïve, ignorant, stereotypical and unknowingly offensive. For now, let’s tag it to a general lack of exposure in a number of global developments. Mind you, these kind of questions are the panic button to a swarm of sarcastic humor. I learned to enjoy responding to such intelligent questions, depending on whether the person seems genuinely inquisitive or if one tries to profile me by descent or culture. I usually take no consideration for people who ask not to genuinely know and learn the facts, but to cross the line and outshine the rest in trying to validate and consolidate their non-factual preconceived thoughts. This in my situation, is the absolute magnet for a lot of sarcasm.
Disclaimer: Sarcastic responses only apply to people that insist on maintaining their wrong preconceptions and knowledge of wrongful facts. I am also happy to play along if the person is disrespectful or extremely offensive of other people's cultures.
When I describe naïve, ignorant and stereotypical, I refer to people who ask a special kind of ridiculous questions that sound anywhere close to the following;
African people Do Not and are unable to speak Fluent English.
A lady in the far country side of Denver asked my sister, "How in the hell do you speak fluent English?”
Fact –Research can prove, that all elite Africans with Anglophone descent, speak, write, listen and read English fluently. Majority Africans Speak at least two native and one international language.
Her response – A made up story. ‘’I learned to speak English aboard the plane en-route to America two weeks back. There was this thing they called an English language tutorial’’. So mesmerized, she continued, ‘’are you serious, then you’re such a witty African". "Do a lot of Africans in your tribe speak at least two languages? What is the lingual learner ability over there? You should be happy you came to America. You got your opportunity to learn your second language that fast?” Her Response - yes ma'am.African People Definitely Do Not Fly to Destinations like the United States.
An older gentleman asked in a sarcastic manner. "How did you get to America?
Fact - Obviously, legitimate travelers fly 18 to 25 hours including transit to the US depending on one’s choice of flight carrier.
My Response - I made up a story about how this small boat I came aboard capsized and I had to swim miles across the Atlantic, walk the Arab nights etc. He continued to ask, "How do you know how to swim? At this point I was thinking, should I tell him about my cousin mermaids? Meanwhile this dude is still listening to this whole "jazz" before I start bursting out with laughter!African’s are unable to afford certain life standards and travel expenses to the United States.
During a random conversation, this gentleman asks? How are you able to afford a trip to the USA? Isn't it expensive? More so, for you as a whole family?
It is a common stereotype for people to think that all people from developing countries are poor and cannot afford a certain standard of life. People holding on to such preconceptions hardly know better. Much as some countries rank low in their income per capita scores, the disparity comparisons also show that lot of Africans have good standing careers and businesses to finance their social needs and lifestyles.
My response - "Well, that's easy, we go to the suburbs in our city and beg ". End of Conversation.Africa and all countries in the continent are poor and under developed.
How do you feel being in a city with all this modern infrastructure and buildings?" ‘’Are there any tall buildings in your ''town'' Kampala? Do you all live in houses down there? He continues, ''Do you and your family live in a tree or little thatched house?'' with my answer as a sarcastic yes, this person went on to ask about the size of the tree, how we all live in it with my big huge family."
Fact - There are a number of great cities in Africa to mention, Durban, Pretoria, Ouagadougou, Lusaka, Accra, Lagos, Nairobi and Kampala (among others). Some homes and housing estates like the Trassacco valley estate in Accra and personal homes have been listed on several best seller homes to make one reconsider these thoughts.
My response – Another made up story, this time, even more dramatized with a description of how we climb out of the trees.
- All Africans are Primitive. Exposure to Automobiles and western culture is still a Myth.
"Have you ever been in a car or seen one in Africa? He continues, “What was your first experience in a car and on a plane?"
Fact – I definitely do not remember my first experience in a car as a child. But for what is relevant, a lot of Africans travel in style and have experience and exposure the world over. A lot of Africans have afforded and drive the latest car brands and models. Sounded genuine, but obviously ridiculous.
My response - had to be another made up story -‘’I first used a car on my way from the LAX airport". I go on, "It feels really nice not have to walk longer distances. It is better than whistling countless times to call a giraffe out of the savannas for a long ride to the barter trade area.
Exposure to music and American pop culture – with such disbelief, a lady of African American descent looks at me and says, "Omg, are you singing along to this song? You can sing an entire Beyoncé song? Girl, does this music even play in Africa?
Fact – Music and pop culture are international and universally appealing across the world. In some African countries, American music may even be more popular among youthful people than traditional afro beat music.
My response – (My thoughts clouding up) –‘’Say you have an American Radio inside Your Stomach.
- The ‘’Bush Man’’ Style and Dress code Describes all for the entire continent.
So you are from this tribe? He quickly picks out his phone and googles "African people with naked breasts", shows me the picture or video and asks, ‘’is that your tribe or family?’’ At this point, I also pick out my phone, google American women with no bras. Pictures of white, black, Caucasian people come up either nude or in bikinis. I expected him to say they were Africans. He continues, ‘Can you walk around with no bra and your breasts open in America? You should be proud of your culture and maintain it anywhere across the world.
I acknowledge the existence of native tribes out in Africa. Nevertheless, the demands of development for centuries over, have required a transition from native to modern traditional culture and style. Obviously, Our great colorful African style, development and overall, globalization has constantly opened up new opportunities and avenues for cross cultural style and trends across the globe.
My response – ‘‘yes, that definitely looks like my tribe. See the wide nose on the women? And yes, we are more comfortable in our small leafy strings wrapped around our pubic area. We like our breasts dangling with no covers to entice the men. You’re very right, I definitely love my culture and I feel really uncomfortable right now, Give me a second, I will be right back...’’Ha Ha, my food order was ready anyway, I left.
- All Africans are all the same. All Africans are Nigerians and all are Internet Fraudsters.
Are you African? If my answer was yes, the next question was. Are you Nigerian? If even no, you may have the suspicious look, "she could also be a thief/fraud?
Funny! A lot of People Know Africa as a single country, just like the United States of America. Others have known for a long time that African’s East, West, North, South or Central are the same and all speak a country called African’’. Some people hardly know, that even within many countries across this beautiful continent, people groups and cultures are further divided by tribe and ethnic grouping.
My Response – Gave a Puzzled look. Two seconds later, question Dismissed.
My overall thoughts.
I acknowledge that I and several people in the world are naive about external cultures, places and beliefs across the world. For example, I still think Chinese people look alike, unless they're different in height and size. I still can't differentiate between Koreans and Japanese. When I was little, I and my siblings used to think aero planes were only boarded by white people. I thought all white people were rich, famous and had lots of money. All people who lived in America were rich. I believed all TV personalities were as beautiful naturally, as seen on camera, etc. Having been naive and over the top expecting perfection, it hurts that my initial thoughts are not exactly what it is about this cute country that I absolutely enjoy. Maybe, I also need a sarcastic reader to school me otherwise.
Bottom line, we all have stereotypical thoughts. However, it takes a little exposure and an open mind to learn and unlearn certain misconceptions and to remove ourselves from misleading thoughts. If I don't know about something, I'll ask to know and not profile anybody by their culture looks or origin.
For a long time, I thought and still know television and better yet the Internet as availed to an increasingly larger proportion of people helped to advance virtual thoughts and knowledge creation through experiences shared on other global developments. The media, although a strong factor in knowledge creation has not done Africa much justice, by fronting its ripped edges. Much of the good stuff is seemingly a shocker to the rest of the world than an everyday experience.
Please don't be the other one in these kind of experiences!
My Beautiful City (Kampala, Uganda)