This is also the time when their minds are beginning to expand rapidly, and each becomes an individual in his own right. Now they begin to put away childish things and become grownups, but such a transition is never simple.
Such striking changes always raise serious problems, for parents and teenagers alike are often confused and uncertain on what to do. The young person feels quite able to handle things for himself, and yet most of the time he longs instinctively for the protection of home and the guidance of older, wiser minds.
At the same time he does not want to show such “weakness.” So he begins to boast loudly, and often becomes defiant and unreasonable, especially toward older members of his family. Parents must not be too distressed about this, for he is only trying to move into the adult world for himself. In spite of his attitude, he really knows he is not ready for adult life.
But teenagers are not the only ones who are “off the beam” at times. Many parents are also unreasonable and expect the young person to do things that are really beyond him. Then in the next breath they say he’s “too young to understand!” All this adds to the confusion, and the teenager may decide it is high time to leave home once and for all. But if there is an atmosphere of love and confidence in the home, even the most difficult young person will eventually pass through these years without permanent harm.
EXPECT SOME MISTAKES!
As far as possible, all young people must be allowed to make their own decisions. Naturally they will make some mistakes, just as their parents did. This is how they learn to stand on their own feet as adults. However, parents must provide sensible rules for them to follow, otherwise they may never learn to live in the adult world. At the same time, it is equally important for each young person to be accepted by his own age group.
The young person need not slavishly follow all the whims of the parents. Nor should he act as if there were no rules of conduct in the world. It is the parents’ responsibility to make sensible rules to guide the teenager as he grows up. At the same time he must retain his own individuality. He must now be treated more as an equal and not ordered around as a small child.
Under this friendly guidance and counsel, he will soon be willing to accept reasonable suggestions, provided his parents are wise enough to help him solve his problems as a mature young adult.
UNFAIR COMPETITION
Not all young people are brilliant when it comes to studying at school. Some are gifted in one way, others in another. Some grasp lessons easily, others have to work harder. Wise parents will make allowance for these differences. They will avoid making unfair comparisons, even between members of their own family. Many a young person can overcome serious handicaps in life provided he is given proper training and encouragement. Wise parents will realize that each young person deserves a fair chance to develop in his own way, rather than being urged to follow somebody else’s pattern. Some of the greatest people in the world were not brilliant in school. In most cases they matured more slowly, but their contributions to humanity were far more enduring than those of their classmates.
THE CLUMSY AGE
Rapid growth during the early teens brings many other changes, some quite amazing. Boys who never could keep their hair tidy or their faces washed, suddenly begin to comb their hair twenty times a day and even wash behind their ears for the first time in their lives!
Teen-age girls are forever in front of the mirror, working out new hair styles, ridiculous at times, but each eventually tending toward a more settled adult pattern. Teenagers are very anxious to be accepted by those of their own age, and most of all by those of the opposite sex. All these changes are perfectly normal and are just part of growing up.
But many other amusing things happen during these eventful teenage years. Their rapidly growing bodies are often awkward and hard to manage. They seem to be all arms and legs and cannot coordinate them properly. They stumble around knocking things out of place, and are continuously dropping and breaking things they touch.
This is indeed a most distressing stage, but fortunately it soon ends. Parents must be patient, remembering their own experiences in adolescence. Their young people need sympathy and understanding, not harsh criticism during this stressful time.
GROWING TALL
Then there is the matter of growth. All young people do not grow at the same rate. Some may shoot up as much as six or seven inches in one year, while others seem to be standing still. The tall one feels awkward and conspicuous because of his height and wishes he would stop growing so fast.
The shorter one feels equally out of place, envies the taller one, and wonders what is wrong with him. The short teenager still looks like a child, and because of his height, he may be treated as such. This annoys him, for already his mind is expanding. On the other hand, the tall adolescent is already beginning to look like an adult, but most times every may still reason more or less like a child.
How can they help feeling confused? Understanding and patience on the part of parents is vitally important at this stage and other stages to ensure a smooth transition from Teenage age to Adulthood.
Thank you for reading!
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