CAPITULO FINAL
ELLA
Reflexionaba profundamente cuando sonó por tercera vez el timbre y pensé que era el momento de gastarme el dinero o bien dejar la cartera en el buzón. Me decidí, di la vuelta, me disponía a alejarme cuando oí que alguien me llamaba desde la acera de enfrente. Llegó hasta mí, era la hermana, le conté a grandes rasgos lo que sucedió. Se mostró sorprendida y a la vez tan amable pidiéndome que aguardara, abrió, entramos, lo llamó
Te buscan, rápido baja, debo salir, sólo vine por el bolso de la abuela, lo dejó ayer y necesita su receta, en cuanto termines puedes alcanzarnos, bueno si quieres. -Espéralo, me pidió mientras salía, le dije que no era necesario. -Para nada, debe agradecerte personalmente, insistió. Así que me quedé. Escuché que alguien bajaba la escalera, al principio no distinguía lo que decía, después las últimas frases, bueno no vale la pena repetirlas. En un momento ya estaba frente a mí un chico que no tenía nada que ver con las fotos de las identificaciones.
Tenía un aire de molestia, que no disimulaba en lo más mínimo, estaba terminando de abrocharse la camisa. De pronto levantó la vista y se cuestionó sin palabras mi presencia en la sala de su casa. Se quedo ahí, estático, en silencio, como un juez a punto de dar un veredicto muy duro. Qué pasa conmigo- ya no lo mires tonta- me decía. Aunque eso si, de manera fugaz mis ojos actuaron como un scanner sobre su persona. Era alto, rubio, delgado, muy atractivo, se le notaba un cansancio impresionante y no había que observar mucho para saber que era alguien de carácter firme aunque sumamente joven, supongo tendría 17 o 19 años a lo sumo. Su rostro era afilado, su boca tan bella. Seguro que sus labios encerraban una sonrisa que te deja sin aliento, tenía nariz grande que acentuaba su virilidad y hacía juego perfecto con sus hermosos ojos castaños, tan intensos y melancólicos que no podrían ser humanos. Me pregunté si mi reacción de inseguridad en su presencia, sería tan evidente como la atracción que me hizo sentir. En un instante estaba dispuesta a todo para quedarme a su lado el mayor tiempo posible, claro faltaba que me lo permitiese, cosa que era bastante incierta. Pronto noté que algo parecido sucedía con él, lo que me dio seguridad y la certeza de que no adivinaría que en cualquier instante podría desplomarme ridículamente frente a él. Parecía una adolescente. No era cierto todo aquello, solo debí llegar, entregarle la cartera y ya, mi plan era simple, era el pretexto para no quedarme encerrada toda la tarde en mi habitación a recordar lo de siempre. ¿Ahora qué hago? Esto no tendría que estar pasando, pues bien, lo que tenga que suceder, será bienvenido. No tengo la menor intención de hacer algo que lo evite. Igual y es sólo la emoción de lo desconocido, este encuentro ha sido tan dulce que dudo mucho pueda haber consecuencias de las que podría arrepentirme. Lo que vino con el pasar de los días me rebasó. No lo sentí venir. Estoy en un punto sin retorno. No sé qué hacer. Al principio creí poder manejarme bien sin involucrarme realmente. Las mentiras salían de mi boca tan fácilmente que llegué a creerlas. Ahora todo se ha complicado. Desde ese beso. Me asfixiaba la imperante necesidad de verlo, de escuchar su voz, de sentirme amada y amparada por su ser. Simplemente, no puedo dar marcha atrás. Me aterra aceptarlo. ¿Cómo no amarlo así? Su belleza me acaricia como un dulce beso, tan humano y maravilloso, simplemente le pertenezco. Pues bien, lo he decidido hablaremos y seré sincera por primera vez. Le diré que le ocultado tantas cosas, que me he inventado una vida que no es mía. Lo haré hoy. No… Hoy no. Es especial. Es nuestro día. Habrá tiempo luego. Recuerdo esas palabras. Las personas no cambiamos, en esencia somos los mismos toda la vida sólo matizamos un poco el exterior para pasar desapercibimos, seducir y al final cometer un millón de errores para que los que nos aman puedan olvidarnos. No puedo creerlo había tenido incontables encuentros sexuales desde que era tan joven y apenas hace un par de días, a mis 25 años, hice el amor por primera vez . Fue completamente distinto a todo lo que había experimentado, inenarrable e inolvidable y viéndome ahora que mi pasado volvió a mí, a irrumpir en mi vida para despedazarla. ¿Qué me queda ya? He perdido por completo la noción del tiempo. Me siento aturdida, todo sucedió tan rápido, es como si una parte de mi se hubiera desprendido y ya no es posible regresarla adonde pertenece. ¿Cómo puede estar pasando esto? Si, así es mi realidad, ingenuamente pesé que habría una oportunidad, que todo sería diferente. Sí, eso fue. Bajé la guardia, me ilusioné y comencé a soñar despierta. Los golpes no duelen tanto como la zozobra que se hunde en mi pecho al pensar en él. En sus preguntas que no hallaran respuesta. En ese silencio asfixiante que he dejado atrás. Todavía tengo el sabor de mi sangre en la boca. Nos detenemos. Me muevo de manera automática no hay más vida en este cuerpo.
FINAL CHAPTER: SHE
I was deep in thought when the doorbell rang for the third time, and I thought it was time to spend the money or leave my wallet in the mailbox. I made up my mind, turned around, and was about to walk away when I heard someone calling me from across the street. She came up to me; it was my sister. I told her the gist of what had happened. She seemed surprised yet kind, asking me to wait. She opened the door. We went in. She called after him. "They're looking for you, come downstairs quickly. I have to go out. I just came for Grandma's purse. She left it yesterday and needs her prescription. As soon as you're done, you can join us. If you want." "Wait for him," he asked as I left. I told him it wasn't necessary. "Not at all. He must thank you personally," she insisted. So I stayed. "I heard someone coming down the stairs. At first, I couldn't make out what he was saying, then the last few sentences, well, it's not worth repeating." In a moment, a young man who looked nothing like the ID photos was standing in front of me. He had an air of annoyance, which he didn't hide in the least. He was finishing buttoning his shirt. Suddenly, he looked up and wordlessly questioned my presence in his living room. He stood there, motionless, silent, like a judge about to give a harsh verdict. "What's wrong with me?" "Stop looking at him, silly," he asked. Although, fleetingly, my eyes scanned him. He was tall, blond, thin, very attractive. He looked incredibly tired, and you didn't have to look closely to know he was someone with a strong character, although extremely young. I suppose he was 17 or 19 at most. His face was sharp, his mouth so beautiful. I'm sure his lips held a breathless smile. He had a large nose that accentuated his virility and matched perfectly with his beautiful brown eyes, so intense and melancholic they couldn't possibly be human. I wondered if my insecure reaction in his presence was as evident as the attraction he made me feel. In an instant, I was willing to do anything to stay by his side as long as possible, of course, unless he allowed me to, which was quite uncertain. I soon noticed something similar happening with him, which gave me confidence and the certainty that he wouldn't guess that at any moment I could ridiculously collapse in front of him. I looked like a teenager. None of that was true. I just had to arrive, hand him my wallet, and that was it. My plan was simple: it was the excuse to avoid staying locked in my room all afternoon reminiscing about the same old thing. Now what do I do? This shouldn't be happening. Well, whatever happens, it will be welcomed. I have no intention of doing anything to prevent it. Maybe it's just the thrill of the unknown, this encounter has been so sweet that I doubt there could be any consequences I'd regret. What came over me as the days passed overwhelmed me. I didn't feel it coming. I'm at a point of no return. I don't know what to do. At first, I thought I could handle myself well without really getting involved. The lies came out of my mouth so easily that I came to believe them. Now everything has become complicated. Since that kiss. I was suffocating with the overwhelming need to see him, to hear his voice, to feel loved and protected by his being. I simply can't turn back. I'm terrified of accepting him. How can I not love him like this? His beauty caresses me like a sweet kiss, so human and wonderful, I simply belong to him. Well, I've decided we'll talk, and I'll be honest for the first time. I'll tell him I've kept so many things from him, that I've invented a life that isn't mine. I'll do it today. No... Not today. He's special. It's our day. There will be time later. I remember those words. People don't change; essentially, we're the same throughout our lives, we just slightly soften our exterior to go unnoticed, seduce, and ultimately make a million mistakes so those who love us can forget us. I can't believe it. I'd had countless sexual encounters since I was so young, and just a couple of days ago, at 25, I made love for the first time. It was completely different from anything I'd ever experienced, indescribable and unforgettable. Seeing myself now, my past has come back to me, bursting into my life to tear it apart. What's left for me now? I've completely lost track of time. I feel dizzy; everything happened so fast. It's as if a part of me had been torn away, and it's no longer possible to put it back where it belongs. How can this be happening? Yes, this is my reality. I naively thought there would be a chance, that everything would be different. Yes, that's what it was. I let my guard down, got excited, and started daydreaming. The blows don't hurt as much as the anxiety that sinks in my chest when I think of him. Of his unanswered questions. Of that suffocating silence I've left behind. I still have the taste of my blood in my mouth. We stop. I move automatically. There's no more life in this body. Send feedback Side panels History Saved Use the arrows to see the full translation.