Death Threats Beget Vitriol
There's a lot of vitriol among libertarian, voluntaryist and anarchist activists, which is understandable.
It's completely natural to want to be rude and vitriolic when confronted with the prospect of having force initiated against oneself by people who believe that it is morally acceptable to steal from, kidnap, cage and kill others for no other reason than that they call themselves "government". If there's a gun in the room that someone is willing to use against you, it's not a debate.
It's also completely predictable because almost all of us come from places where finding a receptive audience for the non-aggression principle is an uphill battle. Almost all of us have also experienced personal attacks and outright slander as a result of asking hard questions and pointing out inconvenient truths over the years. Sometimes, these attacks come from people who we thought were close to us, which can be uncomfortable and hard to fully process.
For several of us, having the persistence to speak the truth has strained some relationships so much that they haven't survived.
Activism Isn't Isolation
Being verbally attacked by someone who is close to you or whom you hold in high regard is never easy because it provokes a primal fear of ostracism, which means gene death, evolutionarily speaking. This distress may subsequently reemerge whenever people whose opinions you don't even care about act in a similar manner.
Again, this is all completely natural and predictable.
I'm writing this to let you know that you aren't alone. You don't need to lash out at anyone for not agreeing with you. A criticism of anarchism isn't a criticism of you. A criticism of voluntaryism isn't a criticism of you. A criticism of libertarianism isn't a criticism of you. A criticism of economics isn't a criticism of you. If someone personally attacks you for talking about these things, it's because they care more about preserving their belief in what they perceive to be true than they care about you. This is also natural. People are naturally self-interested and thus tend to care about their own emotional discomfort more than the emotional discomfort of others.
Psychological Projection as a Coping Mechanism
Given that people are naturally self-interested, try to understand that people do this from a place of fear. They're projecting that fear onto you and attacking you as a means to attack it. I'm not saying that it's effective or justified, and I'm not saying this alleviates them of the responsibility of advocating that violence be used against you for following your conscience.
I'm just saying that it's scary for them to face the prospect of having violence initiated against them for following their conscience, hence the mental gymnastics they engage in to rationalize the superstitious delusion called "belief in violent authority".
It's a desperate attempt to manage their beliefs and perceptions in a way that doesn't conflict with their own conscience.
Being Happy is the Best Form of Revenge
It's easy for statists to believe the lie that government exists as something other than a group of men and women forcing people to pay them, and that it exists for the greater good. It's actually much easier than facing the reality of the situation. It's unfortunate that some people are willing to throw you and your entire relationship with them under the bus to avoid facing reality, but it lets you know who your real friends and family are. It's not incumbent upon you to relive or express the distress caused by people to whom you were close with every single time you're personally attacked by a perfect stranger.
And in fact, you'll get your message across more effectively if you shake the vitriol off or find an outlet for it instead of letting it bother you, which will also make it easier for us to work together. Plus, it leaves the door open for people who impulsively reject the non-aggression principle to eventually display some humility and change their tune.
Again, for them, it's about managing their own fear and emotional discomfort; it's not about you. Don't let your frustration consume you or outshine the message you're trying to get across.
Happiness... Living well... That's the best revenge because it doesn't come at anyone else's expense, and because it makes Voluntaryism an easier sell.