The ability to communicate compassionately is a matter of mastering emotional intelligence and leveraging conscious control of the fight or flight response.
Tragically, many anarchists and logical philosophers are not any better at controlling their responses than any other person. They may claim rational calmness, but I rarely see this play out in debates online. In reality, it takes practice and effort to quell emotional upsurges of volatile energy.
One must focus on the feelings that arise in the ether of consciousness, name those feelings, and let them pass calmly like a voyager gliding through empty space. This is a Zen idea. It is also a form of psychological control. It is called self-soothing, and it is the epitome of emotional intelligence.
If anarchists fail to practice self-soothing, they will become enraged and start shit talking or shit posting, and this form of communication does not have the positive effect of allowing the recipient of the message to feel warmth and connection. And it is this connection that is a prerequisite of effective persuasion.
Taking Communication Seriously and Getting on an Emotional Wavelength
It is true that many people online do not care about this anyway. All they care about is trolling and trying to trigger people (although Steemit seems to be encouraging more novel and empathetic ways of relating).
Still, many people in most web locales turn into instant trolls if they disagree with content.
Personally, I think trolling is an exhausting waste of time and energy, so I take all of my communication seriously. I assume people want to have an authentic conversation and connection, even if it is a subconscious impulse. Therefore, I try to approach discussion with relationalism and nonviolent communication in mind.
And when I do this, it allows me to fine tune my emotional responses to their emotional signals. It also allows me to get into their head and feel out what their reality is like. It bestows me with insight as to what they need at that time, helping me to better articulate and express ideas more beautifully, because I am now on the same emotional wavelength as them.
This connection is what creates a true dialogue, and provides them with just enough calmness and clarity to consider changing their philosophy. This is the result of practicing emotional intelligence in the context of debate.
Lastly, I admit that I am imperfect at times and get sucked into the content and fire of the message, but I try to create the most conscious and heartfelt discussions when possible, even if I have to come back later and make amends for a reaction I was unable to control.
Communication is of utmost importance, even in regards to online discussion.
This is a video I created a few weeks ago on Compassionate Communication:
My name is Sterlin. Follow me @ Psychologic-Anarchist. I also run the Psychologic-Anarchist Facebook page and produce many YouTube videos. My interests lie in the intersection of counseling psychology and anarchism. I write about the depredations of psychiatry, and also the new philosophy of compassionate anarchism. We have a large community devoted to discussing psychology and relational voluntaryism.