When I was at school, fights between boys would normally consist of pushing each other a few times whilst making idle threats and casting aspersions on the sexual preferences of their rivals' dad. The Victor was usually the one who didn't have tears after a couple of minutes.
The girls on the other hand were fucking vicious, comprising of no small amount of biting, eye gouging, hair pulling and scratching each others faces. There was rarely a winner, and both generally wound up in A and E for a tetanus jab.
**But even the "bitch fights" as they were known in rough Northern towns were nothing compared to the two willy-waving psychotic Loonies who are squaring off over Syria right now. **
Not content with reducing most of a once progressive country to rubble over a couple of oil pipelines (oh did you think it was all over protecting the poor locals... Yeh....course it is... And im Pope Pius XII), it seems to me that Donald "donny" Trump, and his arch nemesis Vlad are going at it worse than two adolescent girls ever could. It's led me to believe that the only way this amount of vitriol could happen is if they were fighting over the same boy, a-la the way adolescent girls did at my school.
Either that, or perhaps they are both secretly "burping the worm" thinking about each other, like two sexually repressed closet jockeys, the pair of them both wound up tighter than a mouses scrotum in a vice.
Funny thing is, nobody would care if they were banging each other doggy style whilst wearing gimp masks, high as Jay and Silent Bob on poppers.
In fact, it would probably restore everyone's faith in humanity if they just got over themselves and came out. The problem seems to be two these psychotic fucktards just can't accept that in different circumstances, they'd probably be having an oil and Jelly party round on Jeffrey Epsteins private island with all the rest of the global elite.
I'm therefore starting a campaign to fill the Internet with memes like "donny and Vlad, just get a room" to try to encourage them to kiss and make up before their respective gangs start hurling ordinance at one another, and reducing the rest of the planet into a steaming, charred lump of radioactive waste, fit only for habitation by eight headed cockroaches and a few raggedy zombie apocalypse survivors.
It would be so much more fun anyway than watching the news-dribble that is telling us we all don't have a choice in the matter. If you ever wanted a reason NOT to vote, it's because when you do you're electing one sociopath over another for the keys to Lockheed Martins latest limb-removing sky-blackening heavy artillery. But of course, if everyone was laughing at them, there is the possibility of it all de-escalating because neither of them have an audience anymore egging them on, like the ring of pubescents gathered round shouting "fight fight" and taking bets on whos gonna get their bra pulled first.
So please, folks, get a grip. Stop legitimising these elitist cockwombles ever again, because one way or another, these battling lovers need everyone to ignore them, so they can at least get into a room together and work it out before the missiles are flying.... Let's just all point and laugh at them until they turn and flee, with the sound of the world's population jeering at them as they retreat.
Love light and laughter
Anarcotech