Hello! Part 3 is here, as promised, addressing common objections to emotional autonomy. For more on emotional autonomy, refer to the previous post of this series: https://steemit.com/anarchy/@healthyhappyhigh/fear-is-fun-part-2-emotional-autonomy-as-a-prerequisite-to-a-voluntaryist-society

As an advocate for emotional autonomy, feeling good, and the pursuit of a life lived with a conscious connection to the available stream of unconditional love, I encounter a few common “objections.”

Objection #1: But, but doesn’t it piss you off that…?

I’m often asked “doesn’t it make you mad/upset/sad?” as in:

Doesn’t it make you mad that the landlord unjustly kept your security deposit?

Doesn’t it upset you that people are blindly worshiping gods and governments and that as a result of their worship, there are laws in place that restrict your freedom?

Doesn’t it make you mad that there are groups of citizens arguing for the abolishment of free speech?

Doesn’t it make you sad that there’s enough food in the world to feed everyone, but many people all over the world go to bed hungry every night?

Doesn’t it? Doesn’t it? No, no, no, and no. I would prefer all of those examples be different, of course. I would love for everyone (myself included) to act from a place of unconditional love more of the time, to understand their worth, to live freely. I would love for everyone to be free from every physical and emotional shackle. I would love for everyone to have access to all of the resources they need to live comfortably and with optimal health.

Am I going to wait for any or all of that to happen before I can be happy?

FUCK NO.

I’m going to be happy now. Each time I notice I’m not feeling as good as I know I can feel, I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to appreciate the unpleasant feeling as an indication that something I don’t want is providing me with the perfect opportunity to turn my attention to what I do want. I’m going to look at people and their actions for what they are and take nothing they do or say personally. I’m going to do the things that amplify my good feelings. I’m going to enjoy the clarity that comes when I take responsibility for how I feel. I’m going to relish knowing that everyone has the option to feel good and that lots of people choose that a lot of the time. I’m going to relish knowing that I choose to feel good more and more and that by doing so, I’m aligning myself with people and experiences who are also choosing to feel good.

Or, I could keep my attention on what is not going the way I’d prefer and not feel so good.

Hush now, I already know your next objection.

Objection #2 So you just pretend that bad things aren’t happening??

People often say to me,

“So you’re just going to bury your head in the sand and ignore what’s happening in the world around you?”

They are often a bit smug about that question given their expertise revolving around everything that is wrong with the world. They have statistics, and they can tell me how many murders there were in Chicago last year or how many pounds of food get thrown into landfills instead of landing in the hands of the hungry. They can tell me about this group of people who hates another group of people or about that group of people who wants me in prison for smoking weed. And on and on.

And I was that person for a while. Years ago, as a brand new vegetarian, I was ferocious in my need to tell people about the horrors of the meat industry. Now, rather than pushing against the consumption of meat, I encourage people to eat more vegetables. That’s what I want, after all.

For this same reason, I was delighted when I first heard the term “voluntaryism.” Shifting my mindset from “I don’t want government (and all the evils it entails)” to “I want to live in a voluntary society” was like having blinders removed. Suddenly, I had access to all of these new questions:

What would a voluntary society look like? What might be possible in such a society? What existing voluntary communities can I learn from? Who else is thinking about this, and what can we come up with together for solutions?

Pursuing answers to questions about the wanted/the new pushes the momentum of the wanted idea/concept forward. The more minds focusing on solutions, the more minds creating new thoughts and ideas to explore, the more talk there is about the solutions, the more people come together and collaborate, the more potential for things to fall into place for a new physical reality.

In other words:

Imagine you had never seen a piece of beautiful art. There’s an art museum in your town, and you go there frequently. You really like the idea of art and of people creating magnificent things, but in fact, every time you go to the museum, you only see ugly, gruesome attempts at beautiful art. It’s always disappointing and frustrating. How many times would you go back to that museum? How much time would you spend talking to other people about how ugly the art is there? How long would you keep dragging yourself past ugly piece after ugly piece, reaffirming the ugliness?

Or, would you go to a different museum? Create something beautiful yourself? Seek people who are creating beautiful things? The power and momentum behind something wanted does not lie in continuing to stare at what you don’t want. The sooner you identify something unwanted and turn your attention to something wanted, the less you will experience the unwanted.

Another way to think of it:

Imagine you’re holding a stick that represents “spider.” On one end of the stick is fear, and love is at the other end. Neither end of the stick denies the spider’s existence, but your experience of a spider is going to vary greatly in relation to the end of the stick from which you choose to view the spider.

The fear end of the stick doesn’t feel good; from that end of the stick, it is not at all pleasant to think about or see a spider. The love end of the stick feels like appreciation for nature, appreciation for the contribution of the spider to its ecosystem, and so on.

Every subject works like that, and you are the one who chooses your experience of any creature, concept, or subject.

Objection #3”But fear/doubt/worry pushes me to action”

False. At least in the way that claim is usually meant, which is something to the effect of: if I didn’t fear failing/if I didn’t have moments of doubt, I wouldn’t have met my deadline/done so much preparation.

Stories. Excuses to stay in the fear frequency. Excuses to limit the scope of your success. Why not align with your knowing that you have infinite capabilities? Align with your knowing that you have a powerful mind and unique, amazing ideas. Why not approach projects and challenges from that perspective?

Turning attention from the unwanted to the wanted is a choice; it is not denial, and nor does it mean we shouldn’t or wouldn’t use available information to make decisions.

For instance, if a severe storm was identified 20 miles from my house, I don’t need to feel fear in order to prepare—the facts are the facts and being scared doesn’t get me more information. In fact, it’s easier to prepare when I have clarity, unclouded by fear. Continuously talking about how threatening the storm is, how much damage it might cause, how much work it would be to put things back together if it does cause damage, and so on does me no good!

I can gather the information I need in order to make a decision (how fast the storm is moving, what capabilities it has, etc.), and I can be present and calm and even happy as I prepare my home.

Let’s break it down

Step 1 Identify the unwanted (happens without much effort): you see something you don’t like and recognize that you don’t like it.

Extract from the unwanted condition the information you need to clarify what you want, and MOVE ON. To continue with my vegetarianism example, I stopped watching and sharing animal cruelty videos and started watching and sharing videos about efficient and clean technologies for vegetable production; vegetarian recipes, and videos of animals being loved and cared for.

Step 2 Get excited! You are on the cusp of something new—a new understanding of yourself or the world or both. You are choosing a different life experience. This is you changing the course of your life and changing the world by choosing to create rather than react. Feel excitement about a solution, excitement about all that will be learned on the road to a solution, excitement about knowing that an answer exists and will show up, and all that is required is paying attention to where your attention is.

I can put my attention on the known and watch the known continue to be the known, talking to other people watching the known about how we don’t like it, and it’s horrible and depressing.

Or, I can put my attention on what I want. I still am aware of the known, but I’m not focused on it because it’s much more fun to focus on alternatives and feed the ideas that are in alignment with what I want, not to mention the exhilaration of the creative process.

Someone has to imagine the solution before it can be made physical, so why not contribute to that beautiful unfolding?