An anarchist goes on a mission to inform people of the acts of anarchy they’re committing, with a twist.
Scene 1: Anarchist waiting at corner of busy crosswalk, wearing a silly plastic badge, and approaches attractive woman. Cameraman is hidden across the street.
Anarchist: Hey there, excuse me miss.
Woman: Hey, I’m kinda in a hurry.
Anarchist: Yeah, I understand. It’s just that I need to make you aware that you just committed an act of anarchy.
Woman (shocked): What? Are you serious? (pauses) What is that?
Anarchist: Well, I’m glad you asked. Ya see, you just crossed the street safely without bumping into anyone or anything, and you did it without a bureaucrat telling you how to do it. You’re also not licensed to do it.
Woman (mouth gaping open): Yeah, everyone does it. I don’t get it.
Anarchist: Do you know what the word anarchy means?
Woman (smacking gum): Ummm, not really. I think it means chaos or something, right?
Anarchist (trying to contain sorrowful laughter): No, actually, it means “without rulers”. Because you crossed the street without some ruler forcing you to do it, you were committing an act of anarchy.
Woman: Oh, ok. Well, if you gotta give me a ticket, go ahead. I’m really running late.
Anarchist: You’ll have to give up your walking privileges for at least one month.
Woman: What!?
Anarchist: Or you can just pay me a few gold coins right now. Your choice.
(Woman starts digging frantically in purse)
Anarchist (laughing out loud): Just kidding! Miss, I’m just kidding. This badge means nothing. You’re actually on a show right now called “Candid Anarchist”. (Points in the direction of cameraman) We do educational pranks to spread the true meaning of anarchy.
(Woman looks over at cameraman. Cameraman waves.)
Woman (laughing out loud): Oh my God! Wow, I was like, what is going on? Whew! Does anarchy really mean without rulers?
Anarchist: Yep, sure does. Isn’t it great?
Woman: Huh, yeah, I’ll have to look into that.
Anarchist: Peace! (walks off)
Scene 2: Anarchist is roaming around a farmers market to find his next educational target. The silly badge is pinned to his golf shirt. He approaches an old man.
Anarchist: A fine day for potato shopping, isn’t it?
Old man (gives awkward glance): I suppose.
Anarchist: Sir, did anyone force you to come here today?
Old man (sighs): Well, I guess my wife didn’t force me, exactly. Why?
Anarchist (chuckling lightheartedly): Ok, let me rephrase. Did anyone you’re not voluntarily in a relationship with, a government worker, for example, order you to be here today?
Old man: That would be silly. Of course not! Where are you from, anyway?
Anarchist: Did any rulers tell you what to buy?
Old man (shrugging): I don’t know where this is going, but I gotta get home with these potatoes.
Anarchist: Of course, sir. Just one more question, please. Do you think anyone forced the vendors to be here today?
Old man: More than likely not.
Anarchist: Well, then, by the power invested in me by this plastic badge, I’m going to have to fine you and all the vendors for committing acts of anarchy.
Old man (turns red): What the hell are you talking about? This is a peaceful market, there’s certainly no anarchy here!
Anarchist: Could you define the word anarchy for me, please?
Old man: Um, well, I guess. It means violence, doesn’t it?
Anarchist: Actually, sir, anarchy means “without rulers”. Since everyone is here voluntarily and no ruler forced them to buy or sell, there is a whole lot of anarchy going on, actually.
Old man (pursing lips, narrowing eyes): Hmmm, so how do you get off fining me? What agency are you with?
Anarchist: No more questions, sir. I’ll need you to pay me in gold or cryptocurrency right now.
Old man: Crypto what?
Anarchist: Ok, ok, the jig is up. Sir, this plastic badge means nothing. So do all other badges of government workers, by the way. You’re actually on a show right now called “Candid Anarchist”. We do educational pranks to spread the true meaning of anarchy. (Points to cameraman)
Old man: You mean this was all a setup?!
Anarchist: You’ve been a great sport, sir. And you learned the true meaning of anarchy today, right? No rulers! Total freedom! Isn’t that a great reason to smile?
Old man (chuckling): I suppose. I gotta get these potatoes home to my wife.
Anarchist: Yes, sir. (turns to camera) Thanks for watching another edition of Candid Anarchist!
Images are from pixabay.com and pxhere.com
Thanks for your time and attention!
