I'm so damned lucky to be married to someone with whom I share ideology.
I don't know anyone else personally who is an anarchist or even a libertarian. This means that, as I have no other flesh-and-blood human with whom to commiserate, my husband is treated to a constant barrage of diatribes against the state and all its works. Although he usually agrees with whatever I'm frantically going on about, it can get a little old for him. "Yes, dear, the state is the great evil. Public schooling is indoctrination. Taxation is theft. I know. Can I have some breakfast now?"
He has other interests. Health and wellness is a big one for him. So we have come up with a system: I'll listen to him talk about the latest studies in exercise science, and I'll even go to the gym with him (though it takes precious time away that could be spent listening to lectures on the Mises YouTube channel), if he'll read and critique my latest rant before I post it and help me figure out the very best way to defeat my opponents in the comments section. We round each other out.
I was an anarchist before he was, but he had strong libertarian leanings before I did. We were living in a trailer outside a tiny town in Central Florida years back, barely getting by, sustaining ourselves on beans and rice, and our only source of entertainment (we had no cable) was the public library. One day he discovered a DVD with no case that someone had slipped onto the shelf between anime movies. It was an Alex Jones production (I know, I know, but I like to give credit where it's due), "something-something Rise of the Police State" I believe it was. We took it home, watched it, had our minds blown; you know the story. The door to alternative thought having been kicked down, and we skipped merrily together down the rabbit hole.
I hear that for many people the "waking up" process is a traumatic one. Their comfortable paradigm is destroyed, and they're left desperately searching for solid ground. This wasn't the case for us. It was a joyful occasion. At last we were peeking behind that curtain that we had always suspected was there, and found that there was a reason the world was previously so perplexing. Neither of us had ever been wedded to a political belief system or a trust in the State as the great Father-Protector/Mother-Nurturer, so there were no strongly held delusions to break past.
So now we had a new hobby to share together. We'd research conspiracy theories in the evenings after dinner, and discuss them at work during the day (we were working as laborers on a bamboo farm at the time). Good times.
A few years later we ended up on the west coast, and our next stage of development occurred. We learned about Ron Paul's 2012 run through our good friend Alex Jones, and, after a brief sojourn at the Constitutionalist phase, we found libertarianism. At the suggestion of Dr. Paul, I started reading the good stuff. Bastiat's The Law was very eye-opening, but things got real when I started on Rothbard's For A New Liberty. My husband was working his tail off at the time, while I stayed home to take care of his grandfather, so I had more time to delve into it than he did. I finally got him to read Rothbard, and from then on we were an anarchist couple.
We've got a good division of labor going on between us. I spend my days filling my head with theory and economics, imparting what I learn to him as he has time to listen, and in return he reminds me to do things like eat, shower, and sleep.
We used to have a moderate amount of arguments on philosophical matters, but these get less and less frequent as time goes on. I attribute this to the fact that we are concerned not with winning arguments, but with discovering truth, and so our discussions are productive. We change each others' minds. I think truth-seekers can recognize each other, even if they don't know what it is they're recognizing. My husband and I fell in love before we knew much of anything about each other. I don't know about him, but I remember seeing him for the first time and realizing, before he even opened his mouth, that this one was alive. This one was like me. We were married for years before we found libertarianism together, and it fit us both like a glove.
Now, it's no secret that the vast majority of libertarians are men, and there are a lot of young, single libertarian men who express frustration at the dearth of libertarian women out there. I'm sure it's a lonely feeling. But to you single libertarian men, I want to say this: We aren't all born libertarian. Maybe, instead of looking for a libertarian woman, look for a woman who loves truth. She may hold some mistaken beliefs right now, but if she really cares about what is true, rather than what is comfortable, perhaps she can slowly be introduced to our concepts. By this I don't mean grab up some random woman you find pleasing and try to convert her through the force of your argumentation. I mean find someone who seems honest and good, and let your beliefs flow naturally from you in the course of your relationship. Many entertaining years can be had in the working out of philosophical beliefs between two people. She may even have something to teach you, believe it or not. My point is this: Don't despair. The number of libertarian women in the world is not a fixed pie (remember your fixed pie fallacy?). It has the potential for growth. Let's fill the world with libertarian couples.
Team Anarchy 4 Life