It has come to my knowledge that holding back grudges or anger in any way is detrimental to us especially pretending and lying to yourself that you're good when you're really burning inside, this can roll over for a long time and become totally negative energy.
We're even better off always opening up and venting even in the easiest ways like calmly telling people when they cross their boundaries at this rate we can keep it under control but lying to myself and not speaking up hasn't worked for me and always just ends in a very heated mess where I pour it all out and utter all the wrong things and send a wave of negative energy and I'm not proud of this but clearly it springs up as a result of holding back for too long and accumulating bad energy. Suppressing anger isn't healthy as well and can lead to indigestion, ulcer, anxiety and high stress levels, high blood pressure and even worsen pains as well as muscle tensions and most times the verbal or physical outbursts end up hurting others
Recently this has scarred a few of my personal relationships and yes I'm talking family how shameful, today after holding in a lot of things, being the last child seems easy but its also tasking as you get to see everybody's mistake but in an African family like mine your views might not be taken too seriously where as everyone seems to know perfectly what's right for you so I tend to take in a lot and just keep it moving like it's all good but when I lose it then it's a gore. Today i sort of went bat shit crazy at everybody including my beloved Mom and looking back I really wish I held back even though it seemed the hardest and I just had to air my views but looking back maybe a calm settlement would've aided the situation. It's usually a hard place when you're saying the truth but no one's taking you seriously or seeing things from your perspective can become persistently frustrating and two of your older siblings plus your mom are on your case as boxed as i was i could've remained calmer.
We learn everyday though and I just learned, while I wouldn't want to wish this on anyone because trading your inner peace for those few moments of satisfaction you get isn't worth it you get several flashbacks on how you could've done things way better and wish you made a better decision so in order not to let this befall any of us I've done my part to list some Anger Management tips and oh they also serve as note to self
Try to let people know when you feel like they've crossed personal boundaries trash those issues totally and move on. In order not to bring them up in any future scenarios or roll them over this would always lead to outbursts. Maybe say "you should clean up your room" Instead of coming off as "you're such a dirty person"
Also try relaxing, try to find what calms you. Music works wonders for me, you could also try cointing to 100 to relax your self, take deep breaths or time outs from whatever it is.
*Always come out of your head to look at things from your own perspective. Instead of always being one sided and self righteous this way you can evaluate things better and not take things too personal like they say you mostly cannot influence people's decisions but you can always alter your reactions
*When you don't see anyway of solving the problems e.g. Something with your boss that you can't really stand up to him about you need to find a way to let it go and clear your mind if not you'd be at a risk of transferring aggression
*Get help when you feel you can't control yourself anymore go for anger management classes or personal counselling
*Oh and yeah lastly we really need to find ways to not exacerbate issues especially when we can clearly see that this is the path to destruction of a person especially during the heat of the moment situations can go downhill from there
Thank you for reading and please comment with likely examples and solutions
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