I know how it feels, I also lost my first dog Happy Boy. He was the sweetest dog ever and he always sleeps beside me or sometimes besides my little brother and grandparents. We would go and travel together. However, a year later he suddenly vomitted something yellow he eventually gets better everytime so we just assumed it was nothing serious since he was still so playful and full of energy. Until one day my grandmother found him sleeping silently in the living room, and when she approached him he was already gone. He passed away in his sleep. Fastforward to a year later today, the pain is still here. We wanted to adopt another puppy but I guess we are just not ready yet. I hope it'll get better soon for you 🌻