Sword Art Online Season 1 Episode 4 (A Satirical Recap)

alt

We're back for episode 4! and it's an actual filler episode! Let's get to it!

Click on this for Episode 1 Recap!
Click on this for Episode 2 Recap!
Click on this for Episode 3 Recap!

(Also, side note all the pictures used in this recap are my screenshots so no sources were provided)

EPISODE 4 JAILBAIT PETS MY DRAGON
alt

Our story begins not with Kirito, but with some party in the middle of the woods. A small child and a hot milf are arguing about some healing items. The small child is Silica A.K.A waifu number 3, a very cute... holy shit she's 12!? We'll just call her jailbait. Jailbait, as it turns out, is an Idol in the real world and are popular with the men. Not even going to comment on that. Back to the story, Jailbait ultimately gets pissed at the hot milf and leaves the party with her pet dragon. A few moments later she gets surrounded by a group of drunken gorillas on steroids.

alt

Her pet dragon gets killed in the process and she herself is just about to die when our badass hero Kirito appears and deals with the gorillas going apeshit. (see what I did there?) Jailbait cries because of what happened to her pet dragon but Kirito informs her that there's a MacGuffin somewhere that can help resurrect her pet. Kirito decides to help jailbait. Jailbait understandably wonders why Kirito would ever want to help her and she decides to ask him directly. Kirito responses by pulling a Yu Narukami and answers with this.

alt
Yup, we are now at sister complex territory. I swear if this anime turns to Eromanga Sensei at some point then it is in fact trash.

Kirito and jailbait go to town and meets...
alt
Holy shit its the catfish duo, I can't believe that they're still alive. I hope to God this is a running gag.

alt

Kirito and Jailbait also come across the Hot milf and her party. Milf was like "you a bitch" and jailbait was like "no, you a bitch." Then Kirito was like "bitch I ain't got no time for this" and then they bailed. During dinner, Kirito informs jailbait about PK mode and basically tells her that "bitch other players kill other players, and you should be careful." That same night while jailbait is in her room wearing her undies because of... fan service I guess, Kirito knocks and wants to talk to her about the plans for tomorrow. While talking with jailbait, all of a sudden Kirito's spider-sense tingles. A man, who I can also describe as an ineffective ninja has been eavesdropping on them. The two decides to ignore what happened and rest for the night. The next day, they finally head out to search for the MacGuffin. They traverse into the beautiful garden dungeon filled with plant monsters and partake in what I can only describe as "hentai-ing."
alt

Tentacle rape... Because who the hell cares at this point?

After all that, they finally reach their destination and got the MacGuffin and heads home. All of a sudden they are ambushed by the milf and all his pool boys. Turns out the milf is an evil player who kills and steals from other players. It also turns out that Kirito was targeting her all along and wants to bring her to jail. Milf is confident though and is like "I don't care Imma Bitch, and my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!" She commands all the pool boys to attack our stalwart hero! and it does absolutely nothing.

Source

Upon showing his unbelievably large dick and shoving it up in everyone's faces, Kirito imposes his dominance and is like "I am the hope of the universe, I am the answer to all living things that cry out for peace. I am the protector of the innocent, I am the light in the darkness. I am truth. Ally to good... Nightmare to you!" Goku.. errr I mean Kirito, finally arrest the milf and her pool boys and heads back to town with jailbait. Jailbait finally revives her pet dragon. She talks to Kirito and was like "take me." And Kirito was like "Bitch, you're underaged!"

alt

That's it for now, Join me again next time! On the next SAO SATIRICAL RECAP!

Thank you very much for reading and I hoped you enjoy.
Please make sure to upvote and resteem!
Also feel free to comment below on your opinions, suggestions, and questions.

Is there a particular anime and/or show you want me to cover?

Let's have a discussion below and you to can help influence my content!

THANKS! PEACE OUT!