What is sexuality? This is a kind of innate human need, which is based on a combination of various physiological, psychological and social factors.
And how to define your own sexuality? Rather, it is an opportunity to have fun and enjoy intimacy, to be ready for it.
And if there are problems in this area, they cause fear and despair in people, mainly because we know too little, are not educated and savvy enough in such a sensitive topic. Despite the "sexual revolution", it is to the solution of sexual problems that modern man is least ready. Let's try to understand what they are and how to solve them.
Come from childhood.
It's no secret that most of our problems come from childhood. Sexual is no exception. Well we have not decided to openly discuss with the children these questions, there is no sufficient pedagogical practices, lack of basic knowledge base, which we could pass on to children, understand them in an accessible form. Plus strict legal "sword" that punishes any attempt to involve children in sexual structure, is just too far. If the second-all more or less clear, these social standards are designed to protect children from violence, involvement in prostitution or pornography, the first situation is much more complicated.
A growing teenager simply has nowhere to get information about what to do with his own body; the only thing he can do is talk to his peers, who themselves are not too competent in these matters. And when there are moments of first intimacy, they are often unsuccessful, and if the situation repeats, it can leave a psychological trauma for life. It is at that time that the "stratification" of consciousness occurs, the separation of the concepts of love and sex from each other. If the first seems lofty sense, sex is considered as something vile, bad, subsequently, these double standards can really interfere in your life, if not timely eradicated.
The dangers of stress.
Stress, that is vzroslie state of strain, which is the body's defenses, affects a person if he does not know how to manage deteriorating mood, immunity, introduces stress and anxiety. But most of all, stress can bring harm to the sexual sphere, it does not matter – a man or a woman, in front of him all are equal.
With prolonged exposure to stress on the human body, he may have a dislike for any manifestation of initiative, he will try in all ways to escape from responsibility, at the same time, pulling away from other people. This combination can destroy any desire, and ever-increasing nervousness and all will bring all sexual attempts on there.
Men's sexual problems.
Sexuality and potency of men very much depends on his mental state, and if somewhere something is wrong-at work, at home, in the shower-it will not slow to affect the potency.
Sexual disorders can occur for different reasons and differ significantly from each other. They can manifest themselves in the address of certain women or circumstances, while contacting with other ladies and in a different situation everything will be fine. Difficulties with potency can arise as a result of dislike for the object-the reluctance to engage with him in a relationship, even on a subconscious level, will result in a real weakness in bed. It happens that the difficulties in the sexual sphere in men are associated with the lack of temperament of the partner, or Vice versa, her hyperactivity – when there is no feeling "on the same wave".
With increased emotional stress, fatigue, General decline in strength, impotence can also occur – and then even the usual exciting factors - favorite underwear wife, massage, body odor, will not have an exciting effect, although previously " started with half a turn."
What are the reasons for such failures? Consider a few.
The earliest cause that a man may encounter is called the neurosis of expectation. When, after a series of unsuccessful attempts, a man, as it were, programs himself to the fact that now he will always be unsuccessful in bed. Approaching sexual contact, he sets himself up in advance for failure, and he, as a result, does not keep himself waiting long.
Psychotrauma on sexual soil - when at the mere mention of sex in the head there is a situation, extremely unpleasant, which once hurt and caused pain, of course, this will not slow to affect the potency. Also, the reasons include hypochondria – excessive focus on yourself, your problems and failures, the more a man thinks about it, the worse the potency. This is too low or high self-esteem, in both cases, his own ego is more important than a partner.
Problems can arise due to excessive desire of the object, when the partner so wants that just burns out, not having time to bring the matter to a logical conclusion. Because of antipathy to the partner, and if she at the same time also allows herself insults, or simply indifferent to the man, then about any sex of the speech is not conducted any more. And, of course, already announced, stress, and conflict between what the man thought, as imagined situation (childhood) and the reality of this inconsistency can deeply injure suppressing the desire.
Women have sexual problems.
In women, some of the problems are similar to men's, but there are a number of features. The most common are frigidity, anorgasmia and vaginismus.
Frigidity (low level of excitability) - most often has a psychological nature, and can be associated with psychological trauma, rejection of the partner, his rough actions, fear of pregnancy, rape and other factors. But there is also a physiological frigidity-which occurs as a result of past diseases or General deterioration of the body.
Vaginismus is a phenomenon characterized by involuntary muscle spasms, sexual contact or gynecological examination. The reaction can occur both from directly attempts to enter the penis and at the mere imagination of sexual intercourse. The causes of this phenomenon, again, are hidden in our head, and are the consequence of unpleasant intimacy or incompetent actions of the doctor.
Anorgasmia is a phenomenon when a woman has an orgasm as such. Often it is accepted to speak about secondary anorgasmia, when previously you had an orgasm, and after a while stopped. And here the main causes are psychological-the fear of Contracting venereal disease or getting pregnant, not to like the partner and be rejected by him, and many more factors that lie in our minds.
Summarize.
As we can see, most sexual problems have psychological causes, and their solution depends on whether we can overcome difficulties, get rid of oppressive memories, raise self-esteem, cope with stress and stop being afraid. It is important to realize the existence of problems in time and start solving them. To do this without the help of a competent specialist is very difficult, so do not be afraid to seek help from a psychologist. In the end, do you want to enjoy intimacy or choose to continue to live alone with their problems? You decide, of course, but why deprive yourself of one of the most pleasant pleasures – sexual satisfaction – voluntarily?
