How many dimensions does resentment have?
How many stages does resentment go through?
Which emotion reproduces in the jugular vein; do you know any
I haven't been able to solve this mood yet. But I'm sure there is an explanation for this problem!
I have a friend that I love very much. We've known him for a very long time. We share what we eat, drink and everything we have with each other. We laugh together, we cry together.
I went to your house yesterday. We had fun. We had lots of chats. We ate and drank. We were moving from topic to topic. Then; The word swirled around and was choked by the beauty of his voice. What if I said it was clogged, it's not the water pipe we know that's clogged. I'm just talking about the blocking of the human voice, not being able to come out.
Your voice is good! I said, "Let's sing a song and let's listen." Isn't it like that? I think it is also called honey. Well, we are friends. So, it's a very normal desire, at least from my point of view. Of course, he teased a little, laughed, got coy… I'll tell you, he finally said.
Fine, I said to myself. I was sad all day long and I thought to myself that this would give a good flavor to our nice conversation. I had prepared my soul for the full song listening mode; Doesn't he turn around and say to me "Are you going to record my voice?"
Look you! Have you ever been asked such a silly question? Anxiety began to rise and spread throughout my body.
Of course, I was silent at first. Then I said very seriously: "Don't do it! Or are you kidding me? What is that mean? Why would I do such a thing?"
I had come to the point where I was completely blown away. He was sitting silent. I don't know what he was thinking. I couldn't be more rude! Besides, I'm at his house. I swallowed my pride. While the question that hurt me flashed in my brain, I chose to remain silent. I didn't have the strength to question any more what he meant. It was not the place either.
The interesting thing is, he was the one who got offended. He got up from me. He walked to the kitchen for a while with his feet. It was as if he had swallowed his tongue. I didn't go behind. I'm stuck where I am. It was as if the air I breathed had suddenly become polluted. It was like I was sitting on a nail and my body was being bayoneted.
Look at this! I am a guest in his house and he is offended by me. In that case, I could not get up and leave, lest there be any shame or even more exaggerated resentment. I waited. But I felt my heart tighten. If I could, I would instantly become a tiny butterfly and fly. I would like to disappear. But in vain!
My restlessness boiled all the blood in my body! Despite this, I continued to sit for a while. I didn't know what to do to end the silence and gloom as soon as possible. I was like paralyzed.
No! He's not coming back from the kitchen. That's when I realized that he wants me to go.
I got up. I made my way to the kitchen door. It didn't turn on the light. It was dim inside. He was facing the window. He folded his arms and just stared into the darkness outside. Maybe she was crying, I don't know. I felt so sorry for him. I wanted to come closer and hug; but I didn't. "Dear, can we talk?" in a low voice. I said. He didn't make a sound. I waited. I waited, maybe he would come back to me and say something. But no! He did not return. He ignored me in his house. Too nothing to even be a ghost.
The way was now visible to me. I should have returned home. Because I was not wanted!
I put on my coat. I was moving slowly to gain time. What if; maybe he will come and prevent me from going. No! Did not come. "Dear I'm going. Now you can be yourself!” I said. Again, he didn't say "gick". Me, poor me...
With my petrified chest, without hearing her voice, without seeing her face; I closed the door behind me. As I descended the stairs, I felt my throat constrict. I was waiting for him to open the door at any moment and say, "Oh, for God's sake, are you crazy! Get up, please, but..." But the door did not open. He didn't come after me.
I suddenly felt my stomach start to feel nauseous. My eyes were fogged. At one point, I thought I was going to roll down the steps. Would this friend of mine whom I love so much come to my aid? I wasn't so sure anymore.
It was cold inside my car. I was confused and alone. I turned the key with the feeling stuck in my throat.