I have endured some of the worst months of my life this year. I lost someone close, my relationship came apart, and I saw myself repeatedly failing at work-related goals because I simply could not concentrate. It started in mid-January and by the end of February, I was fully gripped in the clutches of anxiety and depression. On one occasion when I had a panic attack, I could literally feel my heart pounding on my chest at a blistering pace. I had never experienced this kind of feeling before. Everyone feels anxiety at one point or another but I had never seen at this level.
Thankfully even on my worst days, I knew I had to talk to someone to push away that crushing invisible weight on my head. And I am ever so grateful to the people who talked to me. It is surprising how people are willing to listen if you are willing to trust and be vulnerable. I even talked to a British guy whom I met once in a hostel while I was backpacking in Jaipur, India. I had met him only once! And he was willing to listen and give me so much love! So it was during one of these moments that a friend of mine asked me to dab a hand at Headspace by Andy Puddicome.
To the uninitiated, Headspace is an app that provides guided meditation and teaches mindfulness techniques. I have been doing the headspace meditation for over two months now and it has been a fascinating experience. There have been some really tangible results as well. For example, initially, I was finding it incredibly difficult to sleep because the constant train of thought in my head just wouldn’t stop. I would twist and twirl in my bed for at least three hours before I finally fell asleep. With Headspace, I just turn on the 10 minute guided meditation for sleep and I fall asleep even before the meditation ends.
Apart from sleeping well, and becoming totally relaxed, one of the biggest turnarounds for me is also how I have become aware of the thoughts that trigger anxiety. By identifying these thoughts I have also understood the things I could do to overcome them. For example, I wanted to write the GMAT test since a long time but was putting it off because I was nervous about not being prepared. So when I realized that I was becoming anxious about not being prepared, I just put myself on a 15-day deadline and said I will write the exam whatever my preparation. I scored a 710/800 on my first attempt in April.
For someone who is going through something I went through, I’d say first reach out to your friends and take professional help if you feel it’s necessary. There’s absolutely no shame in seeking help. I obviously highly recommend Headspace. Do let me know about your experiences if you have tried headspace before!