I listen to Abraham Hicks often. Yesterday, I caught a quick statement “Contrast does give birth to desire.” I’ve explored this concept before. But I wanted to deepen it’s meaning in regards to anxiety. I’m no stranger to “anxiety.” We’ve really gotten to know each other over the years.
Here, in this post I will share with you the process I use to manage anxiety. Yesterday after hearing that statement, I believe it’s just another way to explain what we are dealing with and how we can help transcend it. It seemed to fit with the approach I've been using for anxiety.
Example:
When we know what we DON’T want, it brings clarity to what we DO want. The moment you realize what you DON’T want, shift your attention the the desire of what you Do want.
“I’m not liking how I’m feeling right now, I don’t like this experience, I feel uncomfortable, I feel anxious, I feel pain.”
“How do I want to feel? What do I want to experience? What do I need to do to feel the way I want to feel?”
Often, we stay with the feelings that we don’t want for far too long, we start thinking about it, worrying about it, analyzing how and why it happened, what we could have done to prevent it and how it will impact the future. The ego is searching for things to attach to, past beliefs and experiences or the probability of things.
A momentum begins, an energy force that gets stronger and stronger with each thought, which in turn, creates even more negative feelings, totally robbing us of any peace or joy. The anxiety hits and can even turn into a panic attack. This is in contradiction to your desires.
Acceptance
The ego doesn't do well still. And if you’re struggling with calming your thoughts and shifting the focus try just being. See if you can accept the moment you are experiencing. *”Even though, this isn’t how I prefer to feel, I’m going to accept it for what it is.” “It is what it is.” “I’m not going to try to figure it out.”
When we aren’t feeding the ego it’s possible for it to lose it’s strength in that moment, that’s when you can take the opportunity to shift your thought towards what you do want.
Try saying “I don’t know.” “I don’t know why I’m experiencing this.” I don’t know how this happened.” “I don’t know what will come of it.” “But I do know, it’s not what I want.”
If you leave the ego hanging with “I don’t know” “Let’s see what happens.” You’re starving it. It will feel uncomfortable and foreign doing this because the ego is so use to grasping on to things, reasons, the past and probability of the future to define that moment.
Accepting things as they are helps create some space to allow your focus to shift on to thoughts and feelings you do want to experience. -To stop the momentum before it happens.
This is usually where I choose meditation to help hold that space of just being.
Shift the focus
If we back up, and recognize those thoughts at the very beginning, before we create the momentum that spirals out of control, we can stop, breathe and ask, "What desire is being born from this contrast?" “If I know this isn’t how I want to feel, how Do I want to feel?”
Often times we don’t notice the thought pattern begin and building on itself until its deep into it. But pay close attention to the feeling that it produces in your body. Where are you feeling it? What does it feel like?
When the next time rolls around, remember that feeling, and realize in that moment that its a direct response to the thoughts you’re having.
Shifting your focus isn’t the easiest thing to do and can feel like your whole world in that moment, and you may struggle to remember what brings you more peace and joy.
This is where Desire Mapping comes in handy. A process in identifying with core desired feelings and having clarity around how you want to feel majority of the time in certain areas of your life. It gives us that quick reference and reminder in those moments that are so difficult to turn around.
Fearing the anxiety.
This is common aftermath issue that many associate with. Because the ego loves to play on the past, we end up fearing the feeling of being anxious in itself. We remember how awful of an experience it is and a lot of the times it’s worse than the original thing that may have caused the anxiety in the first place. Dealing with lingering, on edge anxiety can also be an aftermath effect as well.
When we find ourselves anxious about having anxiety. It’s a good time to shift to the level headed part of us and remember, it was a reaction and response created by the ego. That it is something we can control, not allowing ourselves to become anxious.
You can’t be the observer of the thoughts and the the thinker. Which one are you?
Step into the power of the observer. Remember, you are the observer of your thoughts not the one thinking them. Take the opportunity to be the level headed one, that finds truth. The one that can say, "hold up, this is going nowhere”, “I know these thoughts don’t serve me and will create more pain and suffering.”
Remember how powerful you are as a creator. Life isn’t happing to you. You are life. Your thoughts and your body is the manifested vehicle in which you experience life through. You are not your body. You are not your thoughts.
You are much bigger than that. You are the designer of what you want to experience. You get to choose. And sometimes, the contrasts we end up facing are a clear direction into what we truly want.
If you don’t like what you’re seeing outward, go within and ask, “What in me is reflecting outward?”
Examples:
If you feel angry, you will find yourself in situations that make you more angry.
If you feel anxious, you will find yourself in anxious situations.
If you feel lack of control, you’ll find yourself in situations out of your control.
We attract what we think and feel. But the good news is we can be more intentional in choosing thoughts and doing things that make us feel better. Creating new momentum of thought that heads in the direction of what you prefer to feel.
:: Just because it happened in the past doesn't mean it has to happen in the future.
:: Laugh at your ego for trying to attempt to predict the future.
:: What do you know for sure? This moment is all you know.
:: It’s your choice how the next moment will unfold.
:: Know you are a powerful creator, hone in on it and let it lead the way to how you really want to feel.
"Contrast gives birth to desire."
I have explored and tried many anxiety treatments and techniques, other than medication. Some techniques teach facing the fears and pushing through or masking it with distraction. This process I’ve laid out here, touches base on both those concepts but with a different intention.
Acceptance is part of facing it, but not in a scary way. Shifting the focus is very similar to distraction but being selective in what the distraction is going to be. Using things like watching a movie or reading a book might take us out of it for the time being, and I don’t disagree with using distractions such as these, but when that movie is over or when you’re done reading, are your thoughts just going to fall into the same pattern?
I think distraction is only pausing the anxiety and I believe intentionally shifting the focus on how you prefer to feel is transcending it. The idea of contrast allowing desire to be born, is the catalyst that not only shifts the experience in that moment, but it also contributes to the long-term benefits of re-programming our thought patterns and beliefs.
Although I’m not out of the woods quite yet, this has been what I’ve found to be the most effective in the moment, as well as, my overall healing journey with anxiety.
Abraham would call it changing the channel and creating a whole new vibrational frequency that better matches your desired feelings. So as that next moment unfolds, you’ve intentionally created more of what you prefer to see.
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