in a need for a bit of normality and positivity in my life today i decided to flip my attention to the launch of the new gear and technology from apple because let’s be honest who doesn’t love new technology that you can vanish into and think everything in the world is ok while you are paddle boarding in the middle of nowhere getting the call that you have 19 minutes to get back to shore. i know right the irony of being connected!
so apple did their usual mind meld on the world the other day and released a bunch of new stuff, mainly some guff about the tv like it’s not really dying but really it is but we will take the money anyway from the people who went big into television not realising that internet would take hold so quickly and now need some kind of survival package (apple rubs hands with glee and shows viewing and interaction stats to bosses) to keep them relevant in an ever changing world of streaming media.
the biggest thing for me wasn’t the phone, although sure, 3d dots and ai for machine learning lighting ai onboard with the neural net chip, damn apple, sounds like you already got that AI system setup and it’s doing some awesome work for you regarding technology, you know damn well they have already got the thing working out how to make it something that can be transparent and wrap around your wrist and be a glass projection on some glasses, you KNOW that’s gonna be an option in the coming years at your local shop.
you know damn well this is where we are heading to in the short term right, crafted, curated, blockchain powered and decentralised all powered by elon and his satellite factory in the sky. i can see it all, right before, literally our eyes, you won’t know what’s fantasy or real, in fact, we will crave the fantasy more than the reality if the worlds seemingly increase in terrorism is anything to go by. .. sorry, started to go negative. trying to change it up, ok, happy face, sure sire, it will work in every nations on earth, your own personal AI, smiley face, smiley face. talking ai turd. smiley face.
the watch is now worthwhile
ok, let me just put this out there. apple made the phone on the wrist work. it’s got cellular, boom, cellular. god damn it apple well done, finally no more massive half hearted attempts like casio and other people (although i did have fun with the IR blaster turning up tv’s when i was 14 outside of stores) have attempted. this looks awesome. of course, i’m freaked by your ‘electronic sim’ and finding out that 4g connection is $10 in the states and £25 here in the uk. we are literally getting fucked for wanting to be into innovation and technology in this country.
it’s a racket, deal culture and overseen by those power suits wanting to bathe in the glory of discovering you and your talent and then packaging it up like they thought about it — yes, i know who you are. either way, the apple watch. getting one now because fitness, music, messages, calls. yes. absolutely yes, i certainly hope they have some kind of whitelist, blacklist, spam protection because F getting calls waking up my wrist at night. oh, that’s right it will be on charge right? :)
btw, let me say that this for a video blogger should be awesome too. imagine being on your mobile phone which you put into airplane mode because you don’t want it effecting the stream and now you can take a call on your watch which will be near to your phone, so you will be able to take a call on the watch and stream it out live because it’s near the mic of your phone, that’s pretty dope. see, i know stuff. i can see the potential. i see you apple, i see you.
the apple tv it should have been a year ago
yeah, 4k, you know that technology that other boxes could do over a year ago, nice of you to join the party apple. i know you went in with toes in the water to test if anyone would want it but let’s be honest, you got destroyed there by roku a long time ago, google had a stab, everyone had their own little media library in the hope of cornering that market and no doubt you will win, but you still lost if you get my drift even if you eventually win.
which you will because that’s what you do, see what’s doing well, offer them a deal, if they don’t deal you destroy them and put it in your phone like you came up with it. remember flux anyone? i do, you killed them guys. you are effectively kill the mom and pop story idea of software developers and your comfortable with it because you have better coolaid than everyone else. not mad, just saying.
prepare to join the ranks of £1k costing phones
face it, they do a good job of upsetting mobile phones, you know you want the iPhone X, how are you feeling about about that face id? cool or scary? how about that new lighting neural network computed technology, what about the no home button and zero bezel right to the edge of that super sexy super retina display. regardless of what you think about apple they really know how to package things, the hardware advancements alone are quite stunning. i’m not sure if steve would be totally in awe of where the phone is in ten years but i’m sure he’s not upset either. it’s gonna move product, it’s gonna put apple into the trillions and people all over the globe will be showing people how it knows your face like you invested the thing.
beware of the talking emojis
really? i mean, sure, they were sick, super fast, super reactive and i understand the market share of people that you are going for, who has the funds to get one, aiming squarely on the streamers, the youtubers, the developers and the coders, the fairly well off startup goers and such. they are all gonna buy the most expensive phone so they can do stupid shit on them, i mean it’s worked so far right? :) talking poo thou. steve would be livid you did that in a presentation.
vr + ar + ai and being apple comfortably numb
from a privacy perspective this is an ultimate disaster i’m sure, i can see these database of all these little nuances of change, checking photos of you over time, working out if you are gay or not, if you have heart disease or not, insurance companies adjusting your policy day by day as you decline and their risk is offset from the apple data feed. gradually building in trust through the notion of a ‘helper’ application to ‘unlock’ the phone. the slide to unlock was fine. it’s hardware looking for a purpose, not the other way around, that’s always dangerous moving forward. it’s great tech, it’s just ultimately going to be our alice in wonderland hole that we fall into.
how long will it be before the emojis are us talking made up of photos or live images or sequences of us, how long until we don’t need to see the other human on the other end, do we now find ourselves living forever inside the cloud computer like black mirror. it seems so, it seems like the pathway has begun and it was done slight of hand through talking emoji shit. amazing, that’s technology for you - both disgusting and entertaining. it seems the route, the digital highway is now paved for apple to nurse this through into society.
i see the apple car, the headset, the glasses, the watch that’s got you always connected with your health and listening data. we are closer to ‘HER” than every before and it was all wrapped up in a sweet little distraction package because we want new tools to play with. it’s an interesting sensation both flailing and having a tech orgasm at the same time. it’s like getting caught short with no tissues in the house. come on, ya mom knows you do it.
conclusion
we will buy it.
it’s techno lust.
that is all.
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TRUST AND AUTHENTICATION. .
http://socialgandalf.com/legacy → pinterest epic wins pinboard → i was a brand advocate for nokia, 1000heads, verisign → won a vloggie for involvement in node666 (san francisco 2006) → on television for time team history hunters 1999 (burton on trent) → sold me.dm to evan williams (twitter) in april 2011 for 5 figures → went to phil campbell, alabama to help repair/recovery/help raise money month after a tornado ripped through the town (was on sky news, bbc news, al jazeeza, nightly news, alabama weather channel?!) → CNN for sxsw 2013 about austin south by southwest event → video chat with robert scoble from rackspace → i was in a music video can you spot me? → won the digital derry contest for 5k euros to kickstart web tv studio → did project work with sleepydog indirectly for nesta (responder) → crowdfunded digital signage concept called the pi street (do it for steem?)