Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.

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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)

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Richard Hersel

BRIDGING THE GAP

Some folk are haphazard in their dealings,
Casually approaching things with no feelings.
Such a man was Leroy Languish,
Who felt neither regret nor anguish,
About building to an inferior standard,
To nudge economics, to be quite candid,
Towards greater profits, whatever the cost.
Any critics were readily told to get lost!
“Boss, on the high-rise project, we need more cement,”
“Just add more sand. You’ll see what I meant.”
“Boss, the price of premium steel’s gone up!”
“Use second grade, you incompetent pup.”

And so the profits have no schism,
Until nature provides a huge cataclysm.
Whereupon the structure may fail,
Greedy profiteers should end up in jail.
But, often, they do remain immune,
To comeuppance of any tune.

Leroy Languish won a contract, a bridge to build,
The cheapest price, with profit to be filled.
A wide estuary gap had to be bridged,
Every foot of the way, nothing abridged.
At the end of the costing, profits were low,
So short-cuts, short-changing, would be the go.
“Wild weather can rip through from the north,”
“King tides, storm surges, so on and so forth.”
“To ensure the bridge can handle all this,”
“And avoid commuters falling into an abyss”
“The best of materials will have to be used.”
“Second rate materials should not be excused.”

Leroy Languish had heard of Cast Iron.
Used in the Victorian era, and sometimes fine.
But it had often proved to be too brittle,
For bridge building, so rejected with spittle.
But, above all else, it was comparatively cheap.
Therefore acceptable to Languish Constructions the creep!
And so it occurred, foundations were laid,
Progressive payments were regularly paid.
And after a project of a year and a half,
The Opening Ceremony, oh, what a laugh!
A local dignitary cut the red ribbon,
Then bustled about like a demented gibbon.
A very strong wind blew up from the north,
Swaying the bridge, creaking, so on and so forth.
And then a wrenching, thunder-like crack!
With the cantilever bridge drooping down slack.
It being just as well that no-one had yet crossed.
Or, into the void, they would have been surely tossed!
Through haphazard work the bridge did fail,
Leroy could now study profits, as he languished in jail!