Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.

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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)

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Richard Hersel

HAVE A HEART

The Specialist gave his opinion in gloom,
“A By-Pass you’ll need,” in a voice that did boom.
The patient, a nervous fellow at best,
Felt his heart pump, although he was at rest.
Said he, with his head mournfully bent,
“I don’t want surgery, I’ll have a stent!”
The Surgeon, declared, “Fear you not.”
“I’ve done the By-Pass procedure, I’ve done it a lot!”
“But I’ve no pain, I walk uphill without puffing,”
“And you want to cut me open, look at my stuffing!”
Said the Surgeon, “you must get it into your head,”
“If you don’t let me cut you open, you might wind up dead!”
“My diagnosis is PROGNOSTIC not DIAGNOSTIC.”
Such was said in a manner most caustic.
“Be a good boy, obey, and you may well live!”
“For a great deal of money, our services we’ll give.”
The Specialist and Surgeon, both, in their careers were at the top.
Were actually aware that they were the Cream of the Crop.

“Have a heart,” said the patient, rapid pulse beating still,
“Thank you,” said the Surgeon, “Thank you we will!”
“We really know, for you, just what is best!”
“Keep calm, think of England, while we open your chest!”
“We’ll put you to sleep, then saw open your sternum.”
“Always aware of just how much we earn, ‘um!”
“We’ll borrow a vein, from your good leg,”
“And use it to by-pass blocked arteries, to the last dreg.”

The patient then awoke, in Intensive Care.”
Immediately, he wish he was not there!