Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.

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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.

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Richard Hersel

IRRITATE AN IDIOT DAY

Elmer Oddball, needless to say,
Wasn’t the first to suggest an Irritate an Idiot Day.
Of course, the supply of idiots never falls short
So, irritating an idiot can be a great sport.
For those whose initiation may be hollow,
Here are some guidelines for you to follow.
The first rule in finding where idiots do gather,
Is to be in areas to hear them blather.
These are pretty much everywhere people are.
But the most likely occasion is driving your car.
People act, in semi-remote circumstances,
As though they are dervishes in deep trances.

Now, Elmer was happily driving along,
When the vehicle behind considered it wrong.
Although it was a suburban road,
The car behind began procedures to goad.
Firstly a spot of tail-gating behind.
No effect? Then that driver lost his mind.
That is, assuming a functional mind did exist,
In any case, that driver was acting real pissed.
A prolonged blast on the horn, and flashing of lights,
Even though such a facility is generally used at nights.
As soon as danger was only slightly less immense.
The pursuing car would roar by, yes, very tense.
The driver arrogantly swerved hard in front,
Poor Elmer Oddball had to bear the brunt.
And as if such rude behaviour wasn’t enough,
A spindly arm protruded, with fingers stretched crude and rough.
For Elmer such behaviour was not just a bore,
It was a chance to up his Irritate an Idiot score.

Shopping Centres harbour material quite ripe
For pursuing Irritate an Idiot tripe.
In fact most places where humans do mix,
Permit the application of Irritate an Idiot tricks.
Sporting events are designed as a venue,
For the application of Irritate Idiots menu,
So why is such behaviour so prevalent today?
Why do such masses feel it to be O.K,
To behave with bad manners and lack of grace
What, indeed, has happened to society, most of the human race?