Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
THE IRISHMAN
Two motorcyclists, if you like,
Were about to ride a motorbike,
They were on the bike, together,
When there was a change in the weather,
Paddy, who was the rider in charge,
Said, “I have a leather coat that’s quite large.
“I’m going to wear it backwards, you see”,
“To keep the wind from chilling me”.
“I suggest to you to do the same thing”.
“So the wind won’t penetrate and a chill bring”.
So this is what both of them did,
And then donned their respective “skid lid”,
And off they took with a high calibre roar,
Travelling fast, with figurative foot to the floor,
Rain had now started. It was slippery you see,
When they came off the road and hit a small tree,
Now Seamus from a village not far,
Came along driving his small car.
He spied the bike, and two riders on the ground.
He stared aghast at what he’d found.
About first aid he little knew,
But did the best that he could do.
Now it didn’t take very long,
Before a Police car came along.
The constable jumped right out,
All he saw was the Seamus lout.
“What’s the story on all this?” he said,
Realizing that the motorbike people were dead.
Seamus then began to slowly relate,
Just how the bike riders had met their fate.
“I found them piled up on that tree”,
“They didn’t look too bad to me”,
“They moaned and groaned a bit”,
“I saw their predicament and took care of it!”
“Their heads were facing the wrong way around”.
“This must have been why they were groaning when found.
“So with all the force that I could”,
“I twisted their heads to face as they should”.
“But right after that they both went limp”,
“So I decided any further first aid I would skimp”.
“The moaning had stopped, and I thought them better”,
“The rain continued, and so it was wetter”.
“They there lay, peaceful-like”.
“On the grass, next to their bike”.
Now, you will recall their jackets they had on in reverse,
Back to front, they wore them, against the weather much worse.
But when Seamus, them did discover,
He thought that they needed the touch of a mother,
Their heads were clearly pointed the wrong way,
So he turned them back to save the day.
What more can we say?
