Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.

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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)

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Richard Hersel

THE RESORT

Aaah! The wonderful, wonderful resort,
Just the place to relax and cavort,
A veritable smorgasbord of foodie nights,
Of tasty platters and scrumptious delights,
Sports of all types on water and land,
Frolicking freely on golden warm sand.
Sea is a calm, sparking azure,
With a slight touch of green, just to be sure.
A bevy of good looking happy folk,
Rollicking around, sharing a joke.

Such a prospect was before Casper Crudd now,
As he sat under his umbrella, mopping his brow.
Yes, wiping the incessant rain from his face,
The weather in Britain, sometimes a disgrace.
He had a travel brochure, soggy to be sure,
Spread on his knees, trumpeting such allure.
With glossy bright colours depicting folk,
Cavorting on a beach, not in rain that does soak.
Casper had some holidays due shortly,
And although he had grown somewhat portly,
He could picture himself, a glass within reach,
Lazily laying on just such a beach.

So, vacation time quickly came around,
Casper, who had booked everything, now found,
That all he had to do was pack his bags,
And wait at the airport. How time drags!
He was off to Greece, not far from Corfu,
This treat was long awaited, far overdue.
Then he had to catch a small plane,
To the Resort island, right out of the rain.

At the airport waiting the flight to the resort,
Casper practised his Greek from a book he’d bought.
Just then it was announced that it was time to check in.
There were only four passengers, bags in the bin.
Dimitri was the baggage clerk,
He looked to be a bit of a jerk.
When the four were seated aboard,
Dimitri, the pilot, welcomed them, as engine roared.
Flight time to the resort was one hour,
Just enough time for a whiskey sour.
Dimitri, the steward, served up the grog,
Then returned to the cockpit, as they’d entered a fog.
In practically no time at all,
Their altitude began to slowly fall.
There was the resort island, sparkling in sun,
Dimitri announced, “Fasten belts, our decent we’ve begun.”
They landed some few moments later,
Dimitri reminded them, “Tonight at the theatre,”
“We’re showing, “Gone with the Wind,”
“The dialogue’s in Greek with sub-titles spinned.”
Dimitri now unloaded their bags,
Carefully checking each of their tags.
“Now, to prevent any further fuss,”
“We ask you to quickly board the bus.”
The bus driver jumped into his seat.
He looked quite familiar, as he began to greet.
“Welcome,” he said, “My name’s Dimitri,”
“And I’ll be your bus driver, as you can see.”
“We are ten minutes from the resort,”
“On arrival, your baggage we’ll sort.”

Dimitri disembarked them in front of a bungalow.
He ushered them inside, quite fast, not slow.
The Reception Desk was small and cluttered.
“Welcome to our resort!” Dimitri uttered,
“We’ve put you in rooms 1, 2, 3 and 4,”
“Please check with Dimitri if you need to know more.”
“Our chef will shortly be serving lunch,”
“Meanwhile, please accept a complementary Punch.”
“The bus to the seaside will leave at one,”
“It will take you out to sit in the sun.”
“The drive is a few hours away,”
“Please don’t be late or you’ll waste your day.”

The Chef, Dimitri, was soon serving lunch,
It was spanakopita with a bit of crunch.
Casper now asked, where is the pool?
Dimitri responded like a bit of a fool,
“The pool is certainly within our border,”
“But at the present, it’s out of order.”
At 1pm they all boarded the bus,
The bus driver, Dimitri, made quite a fuss.
“We first have to pass through an ore smelting yard,”
“And then through a quarry that has rocks rather hard,”
“After that it is only another short run,”
“Before arriving at the port for lots of sea fun!”
“We recommend surfing on a ships bow wave”
“As it heads out to sea, just try to be brave.”
“The water slide doubles as a coal conveyor belt,”
“Hop on between loads and down you will pelt.”
“The diving platform is from that ships buoy.”
“Watch for barnacles as you climb up, they can annoy.”
“Your bus will leave at a quarter to four,”
“Your driver Dimitri, will wait by the door.”

As the bus arrived back at what was termed “A Resort”,
Dimitri welcomed them back with a free Punch snort.
“Chef Dimitri will serve dinner at eight,”
“Eat quickly, as for the show, don’t be late.”
“Our Master of Melody will croon for you,”
“His name, Dimitri, is well known to you.”
And so the time passed, day after day.
Dimitri was everywhere, what more can we say!