Sam Crumpet came from a long line of crumpets.
The family were given to blowing their trumpets.
Then, one day, quite some while ago,
Samuel decided, his trumpet to blow,
Figuratively, that is, as you may know.
“There is not much dignity in being a crumpet.”
“People look at you, as though a dumb pet.”
“A flat, soft batter cake, do you mind?”
“Where in that, nobility do you find?”
“I need a name that conjures up strength,”
“I need a name that folk will remember at length,
“Trumpet surely rhymes with Crumpet,”
“But then, again, it also rhymes with Strumpet,”
“I know, the name I’ll change to is ‘Trump’.”
“People will no longer think me a lump.”
“Trump, indicates a person of excellence,”
“One who gains the advantage, immense.”

So Samuel did, by Deed Poll, change his name,
To Trump, yes, Samuel Trump, he became.
And as his business grew and grew,
So did his fame, both past and new.
His revised name, to him, customers drew.
“Crumpet” had not the same effect, he knew,
Invitations to events began to come in,
Mr and Mrs Trump, outshone, Mr and Mrs Crumpet, as kin.
People, in the vernacular, wanted to “Stump for Trump.”
Indicating support of any kind for the lump.
Unfortunately “Dump Trump” also came to mind.
But never at an invitation. They were dined and wined.

Trump was a negotiator of some renown
People out-negotiated were left with a frown.
Sam Trump seemed to have that Midas Touch,
Turning to gold every deal he did clutch.
A person so sidelined became such a grump.
Out-manoeuvred as Trump got the jump!
His whole persona became Win! Win! Win!
To lose out on a deal was thought a grave sin.
Just about everything he tried his hand at,
Put more feathers in his get rich hat.
Pretty soon, not caring to look vain,
He had gold taps installed in his own aeroplane.

People marvelled at his brilliance, gasped at his style,
Whilst, some, of a jealous nature, did revile.
Trump’s photograph graced the Society Pages,
Folk copied his dress styles as all the rages.
Trump had little time for those in need,
When it came to philanthropy, he favoured greed.
Best of all Trump loved his new name so proud,
He just loved to hear it spoken out loud,
He loved the Press, and they loved him.
Always writing about any trouble grim,
Which, because he was vocal so much,
Was much of the time. He had that touch.