DMT is a chemical substance produced in the pineal gland at the center of the brain. It is a very sacred and mysterious substance and still very much misunderstood in the scientific community. It is also believed that DMT is the reason we have these visions/dreams in our sleep. But anyway this post is not about an explanation of what DMT is, if you would really like to dive deep into its significance I would highly suggest you do your own research. This post is about the time I smoked this divine chemical and the experience that I had with it.
At the time I had already experimented with several sacred plants on many different occasions and I felt that dmt was the next step up on my journey towards finding an understanding of myself and my place in this lifetime. I had already tried it about 3 different times but I would only reach a level of fractals and geometric patterns. I never left my body or felt as if I was somewhere else. I was only being "teased" but I also felt that perhaps it just wasn't the time for me to go on that journey so I waited it out and with time the opportunity came around again.
I was dating this beautiful girl whom I really resonated with on a very high level and she offered me a space to be able to smoke dmt and feel comfortable while doing it so I took up the offer.
There I was, sitting in a dark room lit up by only a small light source with some music playing in the background starring down at a pipe. Before I began I closed my eyes and set an intention for what I wanted to get out of the experience. My intention was, "I want to know who I am, beyond this flesh beyond this world, I want to know everything that is me." I then opened my eyes and told her I was ready. She lit it up for me while I took in the smoke and held it in for as long as I could. I then did it two more times and by the third time I was already starting to see geometric figures but again I was only in that limbo space. I told her I didn't really break through and she quickly piled a huge amount of dmt in the pipe this time and told me to try again. I was hesitant at first because it was a lot but I thought to myself, " I might as well go hard or go home, after all this is what I came for." So there I was again taking the three hits but this time at the second inhale I was already starting to feel some buzzing in my body and felt as though I was slowly being separated from the place I was in. She told me to finish the rest that was left in the pipe and so I did and right afterwards..... blast off!
I immediately went into a fetal position wrapping my arms around my knees. For this next part I will attempt to describe the indescribable as the experience is something that just cannot be explained in words. For a moment I felt as if I was asleep dreaming but suddenly I told myself, " this is it, this is the experience. Pay attention to whats going on" As soon as I told myself that I was shot into this space where I saw myself. my real self doing some sort of hand motions. I was made up of so many different layers and dimensions. not made of flesh but of light and energy. Around me seemed to be what I could best describe as an infinite interdemensional rubiks cube. It kept shifting and transforming and I would suddenly get sent into one of these infinite dimensions and would explore it for a bit then get sent back and go into a different one. This went on for what felt like an eternity. For some reason my body felt strange and I felt this discomfort in my abdomen. So I opened my eyes to try and seek some form of help only to find that the dark room I was in was no longer dark but full of color and light and what looked like jewels. I turned to look at my girlfriend and she was made up of all these intricate layers and dimensions so I closed my eyes again and went back to the space with my self and the rubiks cube dimensions. I felt like my body was gonna give out and so I began to ask the self that I was seeing in my vision for help. When I did this he began mocking me. Giving me the feeling that there is nothing outside of me that can help me. Then again I was shot back into one of the cubes dimensions. I slowly started coming back into reality. I asked my girlfriend how long it had been and she said 15 minutes or so. I was completely shocked.
For the next couple of hours and days I contemplated on my experience. Since my intention was to know my true self, that's exactly what I was presented with. I saw my infinite being. And all these different cubes and dimensions I was being shown were different dimensions of my self. As if I had gone through all these different lifetimes. I remember one of these dimensions looking like some sort of bacterial realm. where there was just blobs moving around. And I understood everything I was seeing and why I was seeing it but it is just impossible to describe in human words because what I was seeing was not of this dimension. This experience took place back in 2016 and to this day I have not had the feeling of doing dmt again as I feel like I am still breaking down the experience I had that day. I try to bring back some of those dimensions I saw through my artwork as best as I can. It is the only way I can get close to seeing what I saw that day.
