Today, I released a NSFW (Not safe for work) piece of artwork for the first time. It’s partly a tongue-in-cheek celebration of my 69th daily sketch release. There’s a deeper side to this piece, however, that I wanted to talk about.
Part 1: Shame
As a young child, I was surrounded by a culture that might be described as puritanical. My earliest exposure to the concept of sexuality was that it was taboo, sinful, and dirty. Even among married individuals, there was a repressed attitude. I actually heard people express the need to hold back when it came to sex with their spouse, for fear of committing the sin of lust.
The attitude was so extreme at times, that I was chastised by a peer for even suggesting that I look up nude models for anatomical studies. Through my childhood and early teenage years, this was the mentality that pervaded my life.
Part 2: Lascivious and Empty
While the extremes of religious purism surrounded me on one side, much of the secular world was rapidly marching in the opposite direction. Many of my secular friends were having sexual encounters in middle school, casual sex was thriving thanks to the advent of services like Tinder, and porn was more widely available than ever.
Sexuality, to those who strayed too deep along this path became a physical act, devoid of love, of genuine connection. One of the most intimate aspects of human existence was reduced to two pieces of meat slapping together. A work of art, only appreciated in the basest of mechanical terms.
Part 3: Identity Crisis
I ultimately turned away from the culture that raised me. It was the beginning of a long journey of discovery, which I cannot hope to cover in this article. Focusing purely on attitudes towards sexuality, I found myself repulsed by both the repression and excess on either side of me. If two people mutually care for and respect each other, they should be free to explore the sexual experience (Even outside of marriage). If two people do not know or care for each other, their sexual union loses its deeper meaning (Even in marriage).
For most of my life, I did not have a healthy relationship with sexuality, because I rarely saw it modeled in a healthy way. I still think that Western society handles the topic of sexuality exceptionally poorly in general. Healing my relationship with sexuality involved two steps: Letting go of the shame, and establishing a relationship within which I could explore my sensual side.
This art piece is one of many steps I’ve taken to let go of shame. To see desire in a more wholesome and beautiful light. Every human being on this planet exists because two people had intercourse with each other. Sometimes it feels like we forget that.
The sketch can be found here. I’m not embedding it in this article, just in case people want to read it at work or school:
Freedan Daily #69 - Embracing Of Desire