This was my down day to feel cozy on one of these last days of winter. Visited my musician friend the other day. He was hanging with his bud as usual in a basement. Drinking beer, smoking some weed. They played some music and I played along a little bit. Some of the conversations I've been having have been kinda funny and interesting. Allot of times I know I'm left on my own. I've been pretty pumped and happy with the new Ministry album. It seems to bring some controversy with my friends and I like that!! To like a band on my own that makes others feel uncomfortable is perfect for me.
I've been trying to get my friends to listen to the new Ministry. I play it in the car, on the jukebox just wherever. What sets some people off is the Antifa song. They just don't get it. People are quick to write something off without hearing or understanding it. That's too bad 'cause I think they'd appreciate it if they actually gave it a listen. It's the same as coming to many friends with my own ideas, ideas that provoke or challenge the mind and status quo. They tell me they don't want to get too political 'cause it makes them feel uncomfortable. Yet being resigned to the sidelines is no good. I can't stand the attitude of people acting like they don't have a stance, they just want to stand back and watch the chaos unfold. While they are on the sidelines they mock you for having any real involvement in a political movement. Ok well stay home and suck your thumb but your gonna want to get busy once you see it can be fun and empowering to take a stand.
All in all it pumps me up. Used to disappoint me, make me feel sad to see people politically uninvolved, stuck in an anti-social social circle like it's some kind of fun depressing runaway cult. I've dealt with the hazing culture my whole life. I am understanding it better. I know how to take on this belittling culture. I think it's greatest fear is a vibrant energy! That we don't need to feel hopeless to use an excuse to enable you to be mean and do anti-social harmful or uncaring deeds. People are afraid of change sure. Yet it's not much of a flip of a switch to get out of that brainwashed state.
But yea it's all good. Taken me awhile to get this far in life, to not let the sad state of social bug me. It pisses me off and want to do something about it. Well I continue to say what I really think. Make people uncomfortable, give them something to think about! I won't be an enabler who agrees with what someones saying when I know their opinion is stuffy and they don't want to think outside of their shell. They may have people who tolerate or promote it but I will speak out.
So these are just some thoughts of the time. Snapshot of working through stuff in my brain. It's up to me to make my projects now. Not many friends will help me. I would express the uncomfortable emotions even in the music, these other friends don't like that kind of music that explores those feelings. I won't be able to make much meaningful music with them right now for the time being. I don't want lyrics about stupid dumb stuff, I want to be sensitive, emotional, political. To be passionate about what I sing about and mean what I say.
