Hello friends. I need an angel today.
"Rising above", oil on canvas.
I have not posted anything in a week. I apologize for that. Honestly I miss your comments and presence on my blog. It very often cheers me up. And that's what I need the most these last few days.
Life is giving me some challenges which are not easy to surmount, and I admit that in those times I tend to close up in my micro world and minimize my contact with outer world. I decided to make an effort and still write a blog today.
OK so the challenge is my status in the country I truly love, and where, after 6 and half years, I feel at home- Canada. Today, I passed the last citizenship test. That was easy, my knowledge of Canadian history and general knowledge is solid. But the interview with the immigration officer did not go that well. She did not care in the least about the recommendation letters from prominent charities which I've been supporting for years and companies which recommended me as honorary citizen, she did not even read them. All she cared about is my documents proving my physical presence in Canada. I supplied what was necessary, but that was apparently not enough. She wants more and I don't know how to provide them.
Work in progress.
If my application gets rejected, it gets recorded in their system forever and all becomes just so much harder... I might even have to leave the ONE place I ever wanted to live- British Columbia. I get it, law is law and human factor does not play a role anymore. I don't blame her one least bit. Nevertheless I still feel down. Really down.
Those of you who immigrated in a country and went through the pain of becoming resident and later on citizen, on your own, understand how very frustrating this can be. And how the fear of losing your friends and home is always there, in the background...
I don't see myself as bad citizen. I do all the things I'm supposed to, even the ones I don't like doing- paying my taxes although state helped me in nothing to get me where I am, paying the Healthcare although I never go to doctor (vegan + yogi = no doctor needed so far) so I don't cost system a dime. I volunteer and I organize charity events and send checks from my own income to support locals in need. Not important...
I hate sounding like a victim. I do believe there is a higher purpose to everything, especially in challenging times. I am doing my best to let go and detach myself from whatever decision will come my way.
Maybe Universe needs me somewhere else. Or maybe I just need to relax and trust Life.
Here is my angel painting, on a day when I need it. I pray daily, but I always pray for humanity- for world peace and awakening of all humans. Maybe I'll put in few lines for myself in the coming weeks.
Sorry for not having anything better to say today. I hope you like the angel :)
Much Love to all of you,
I will call on you today Angel! May you listen. Thank you.