For the past few days I have been suffering pretty badly from PTSD
I was terrified, unable to shower without extreme fear, having night terrors, shaky. Just kind of a mess. I was also reverting back to maladaptive daydreaming, and as is such since childhood, going to some really, really dark places mentally. Between the nightmares, flashbacks, and my own escapism my mind was constantly thinking about my own death. Or at the least brutal attack. So, I decided to finally "go there" with my art in a way I never have, out of fear of how it would be taken, and get the dark stuff out of my head and onto canvas. Exorcise some demons, if you will.
That is the self portrait I made yesterday.
No, that is not actual poop, but I am wondering what type of person I am for people to assume it might be. XD I got asked that multiple times. It was actually old paint, and I liked that it looked like shit, it kinda fit the painting, so I kept it that way. The dreadlock is mine, from my last set. It was a last minute decision to add it but I am glad I did. I didn't have glue so I attached it with a screw.
Honestly, it felt really good releasing some of that dark stuff. It felt really good exploring the depths of my darkness, we all have it in us, and then actually expressing it rather than bottling it up. I plan to continue to explore this part of my psyche and express it visually. My next project, of this type, is a graphic novel that will depict some really horrific scenarios. It may very well just be for me, I will self-publish it with very strong warnings.
So, if you are an artist who is holding back on fully expressing some parts of yourself or exploring the darker side. I suggest you try it. It is very therapeutic and you may be surprised at what you create.
Part of what makes art so valuable is that it can help people to express themselves. It can help get people get their emotions out and help other people to relate/be touched/be disturbed. It can illicit emotions on both sides.